Reflections In My Mirror

Time

2010-09-17T14:55:00.002-05:00

Time is so hard to organize - my life is so hectic -

Kids - Dave is 15 and IN HIGH SCHOOL now, Abby is in 1st grade = homework EVERY night - who on Earth remembers having homework in FIRST grade???? And my Mason is in pre-school

Work - CRAZY nuts - with mom and dad being gone more - we are SUPER busy.

Summer - well that is over it seems - but we did get to spend a week for vacation - BEACH, SAN ANTONIO & the lake! It was AMAZING!

Church - I am happy to say we are committed to our church and have become MORE involved on many levels.

Weight - I am heavier now than I have EVER Been - YUCK!

So that sums it up for now - I am hoping to write once a week - on Fridays - we will see...

Blessings!

Amy

Hello, Yes I am still here

2010-07-06T09:01:00.002-05:00

Hoping you guys are still there!

So much has been going on I am not sure where to start. I have been in quite the funk as of lately. I took a break from writing - only now to find I should have been pouring out more. I find that when I write I feel better with myself and my thoughts.

I am back on an exercise plan of some sorts - I am trying to walk more. I have lost 5 pounds so far in two weeks! This alone has made a difference in my attitude.

Since January I have has one child turn 15, one turn 6, and a 7 year anniversary. My baby will be 3 in 2 weeks. I am amazed to watch them grow - but my heart gets a little sad when I realize they are growing up. Dave starts Drivers Education in a few weeks. Abby completed Kindergarten and Mason is fully potty trained. It seems like yesterday that i was kneeling down vowing to Dave to be his mom as best I could, holding a small baby wrapped in pink, and delivering the most beautiful miracle of a baby boy that I was told may not make it. Time is going by so fast.

Lately I have been facing many fears. Fears I have never had. I am watching my Granny decline in her health. I know that we will loose her before long and I am not ready to face that. As Dave gets older I realize that he will be more in the "real" world - an I am afraid I have not done enough to prepare him. As I watch friends divorce I fear for my own relationship. My husband has taken on a new position at work - which is consuming more of his time. It is so "easy and normal" to just get a divorce these days. I pray that we hold on. I have quit watching the news for the last 2 weeks. It has done wonders for my fears - it seems that when you do watch you are bombarded with horrific stories of murder, abuse, drug use, scandals, etc. A lot of stories involve children. I know it is out there - but being reminded daily was adding fuel to the fire regarding my fears.

All of this slapped me in the face the other day - I had begun to feel overwhelmed with this fear issue when I realized a key factor in all of it - I had not been placing these fears at God's feet. I had not been honest with Him. I had slacked off in my studies.

So today is a new day. Today is yet a new beginning. More to come - be blessed my friends - if you are still there?

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;he delivered me from all my fears.

Psalms 34:4

Give Me a Break

2010-01-29T09:04:00.003-06:00

I am so pumped today! I was able to take yesterday and today off of work! I totally relaxed yesterday - ran some errands, did the laundry, made and awesome dinner - OH and played with my new camera for like 2 hours - downloading and editing pictures - relishing the memories of all of my darlings! BUT -
The best part of these two days is yet to come - I AM GOING AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND! I am so lucky to have some wonderful family and friends that like to get together every so often for a girls weekend - that's right all girls! The premise is scrap booking - now I like to scrapbook BUT I am not very creative and I cannot stand to sit for 14 hours looking at that stuff. I DO however like to go at my own pace and try to complete some pages. I am so excited to be able to have some ME time. I LOVE my darlings and my husband to pieces - I cannot get enough of them - BUT every now and then I get to a point where I say - I NEED A BREAK - please? Usually this happens the week of a planned trip like this. I am so excited to be able to go and be me - not mommy, not the wife - but just me. Is that bad? I try to be me at all times but there is something that happens when you are away from the husband and kids - I like to laugh and giggle and be silly - I like to SLEEP in, cook what I want, eat what I want, take a shower without little hands, voices, or faces peeking in at any moment, wearing flannel PJ's until 10 a.m. (or later) reading a book, but most of all on these weekends I like the time I have to be quiet. To sit on the deck alone with God and reflect, repent, and renew my relationship with HIM. I like that time I have completely alone with HIM.
I am blessed with a family that likes for me to go and do these things - every once and a while. (like twice a year if I am lucky) My kids like mommy more, my husband likes his wife refreshed, and my outlook is much better. I can take this time to reflect on myself and come back ME - the mommy and wife that I like to be.
Do not worry my fellow "Shredders" I have two recruits that are willing to shred with me on this trip - so the challenge is still on! - BUT I do plan to sleep in :) and have some delicious snacks!

So for now I wait on the Maytag man to deliver my new washer and dryer and then I am OFF for 2 DAYS!
Be Blessed!
Amy Q

Man vs. Woman

2010-01-26T10:29:00.003-06:00

I am totally ticked off - REALLY!

I have been on this journey for almost a MONTH. I have not been perfect - I have missed a few days - but I have been more determined to loose this weight and feel better. I am actively trying everyday - watching what I eat, drinking the water, not drinking cokes (sodas or pop, or what ever you want to call it) I have cut out sweets. I have been more green with the veggies - something that I do not enjoy. I have exercised more in the last month than I have in YEARS. And I am proud to say I am doing good - I have lost some weight and some inches, I feel better. You would think I would be singing from the mountaintops!

ENTER IN MY MAN - the love of my life, the knight in shining armor that I adore. He has supported me from day one - he is my cheerleader. He is the hider of Reece's Pieces.

About a week ago give or take he told me he too was going to loose a little. I was excited but knowing my man as I do I knew to let him do his thing. And he did. He went to the scale and showed me his weight - as I did when I began. We noted it and I let it be. I am going to be brutal here - as I stepped back and watched I felt CERTAIN he was not going to be very successful. He was eating the same, not exercising and from the looks of things I knew that he needed an intervention. So last night I talked to him - I asked him what his plan was for attacking the weight - here is his response:

"well I quit drinking cokes for the most part - only one at lunch. - OH and I cut down the sweets. that is about it"

My response:

"well have you lost anything?"

My Man:

"yeah about 10 pounds"

Me:

"WHATEVER - there is no way in... - GET ON THE SCALE!"

And he was right. 10 POUNDS - then he just had to say it - "no big deal but I do need some new jeans"

WHAT! *%#@*$

Okay so you get the picture. I wanted to roll up in a ball with a big ole tub of rocky road and cry.

He knew I was upset. He later held me tight and told me it is a man thing - and that he knew it was harder for me. And he held me tight while I cried. He told me to keep it up - that he loved me and that he supported me still. That he wanted us to both be healthy and that a week from now I would probably win because I am stubborn like that.

I love him - but it is still not FAIR!

Tonight it is ON! Jillian better be ready for me!

The verdict is in...

2010-01-25T14:17:00.003-06:00

I am loving the shred even more today! I have lost a total of 5 pounds and 8 inches overall! I can fit into a size 12 from a 14! YAHOO! I am more focused as I see that I am making progress ; however I am a little tired of Jillian - I know some of y'all LOVE her - I just don't. We clash, I get angry with her, I even tune her out sometimes. BUT - I love her workout! I am seeing the results. I will post pictures when I can figure out a better mirror/space to do so! I am hoping all of you are keeping up to - IT is hard sometimes. I have missed a few days - but man do I feel it when I pick it back up! SO - I have figured it out - it is better to get that 20 minutes in instead of skipping - or you will pay for it! So I will continue on - but I might mix it up a bit with some BL DVD's - just to give me a break from Jillian. :)

Need more motivation?

2010-01-18T21:52:00.002-06:00

My blog friend Jackie is having a giveaway - go check her out and enter to win - you will not be disappointed!

So I did it - well almost all of it> I did 15 minutes and then I had to stop - I just could not get into it. I was furious with myself - so after a little rest I did the remaining five minutes! YAY! I am so ready for bed now - we are trying to get lil guy to sleep in his OWN bed. It is a battle. It is difficult because I am so attached to my baby boy - but I feel like him sleeping with us is part of my fatigue amongst other things. So off to his bed he goes - and an hour and a half later he is still in his bed :) I am very happy about that - so now I am off to snuggle with my man!

Body vs. Heart and Mind

2010-01-18T08:45:00.002-06:00

OK - here is to being honest - I have sucked at working out the last week - started out shaky and tanked at the end. I have MANY excuses. Tired, sick kids, work, travel with work, husband out of town, tired, not motivated, just don't have time, oh and tired.

I feel guilty when I do not work out - "OH I can catch up tomorrow" I say. That is my mind talking. Meanwhile my body is not shrinking magically. My body is telling me to MOVE IT to LOOSE IT! My heart is telling me that I MUST do this - I am TIRED of being fat. I AM FAT. There is no fluffy talk - I am not big boned, or chubby, or pretty in the face - I AM FAT - overweight by a good 40-50 pounds.

My mind has many excuses running around, my body is screaming at me to loose it and my heart is telling me that now is the time to change.

How do you balance that?

I gained a pound last week. I am not happy about it - but what did I expect?

SO here it is - I have to choose TODAY to make my life changes. I have to choose TODAY to make it a PRIORITY to work out - like brushing my teeth and loving my kiddos. IT has to happen TODAY - not tomorrow or next Monday - TODAY!

If you have been in this place please direct my mind to get that CRAP outta my head! (The excuses)

OKAY - I have an appointment with Jillian at 5:30 today - anyone else?

Letter to The bag of Reece's

2010-01-17T10:46:00.003-06:00

Dear Reece's Peanut Butter Cups:
I know you are there - I can hear you. I know that my sweet husband thought he was being sly by trying to hide you. I know where you are at. You are on the second shelf in a bowl that he thought I would not need. I found you. You are not welcome here. I love you deeply but I cannot continue our relationship at this time. Yes, you are a great comfort - especially when I mix you with ice cream. Yes, you bring me joy when I am sad. But along with comfort and joy you add more to me than I would like and I am tired of shredding you away day by day. I cannot go on like this.
Please quit calling me - I will not answer. Please let me go. I ask all of this with the most love. We will meet again one day when I do not rely on you so much. So until then - keep quiet up there in the bowl on the second shelf. You will be moving soon I am sure of it!
Sincerely;
Amy Q

Shredding - Day??

2010-01-13T08:58:00.002-06:00

I have been "off" from shredding - I have a sick little one that requires a lot of attention and time and NO sleep. We are on the mend now - mommy had a solid 5 hours of sleep and now I am ready to get back up and start again. That happens - it is OKAY. I am going to start day 9 and move forward. I am going to work harder, I am going to eat better, I am going to keep my head up and shred this weight off! I am going to reach out to those who are struggling, I am going to praise those who are leading the way.

MOST OF ALL I AM THANKFUL FOR ALL OF YOU!

Amy Q

Shredding Day SEVEN!

2010-01-11T09:04:00.002-06:00

WOW - one week! I was able to get day seven in this morning! I can say I am ready for the next phase - but I will wait it out 3 more days! I am feeling good! I had a great weekend with the family - not to let y'all down but I rarely blog on the weekend - we are very busy and I try to treasure all moments with the family - so we "un-plug" most of the weekend. I am working HARD this week on the food and cravings. I feel that combining the exercise and the diet I will get better results.

ON a brighter note I feel better in my jeans! WOO WOO!

Keep on motivating me - I rely on you girls to spur me on!

Shredding Day 4

2010-01-08T14:22:00.006-06:00

UPDATE: 9:00 PM
Shred is Done! So wanting chocolate.....maybe a smoothie instead - Fridays are usually Pizza Noght - but after that lunch I passed it up and drank water - so I am off to make a smoothie!

Well I am proud of myself - I have made my workouts everyday since Tuesday. I am however a little disappointed in myself for not watching what I eat - El Fenix was not a great choice for lunch today - but it was a business lunch - did I care? Nope I ordered that big old Fiesta Burrito and ate a pound of chips and hot sauce - but it was SO good - but I am regretting it already. WHY do I do this to myself? WHY? Do y'all know how hard it is going to be for me tonight to workout with my bloated belly? I deserve it I know.

Well at least I have been good all week - oh wait I was not so good on Wednesday - Mexican food again for work with a customer - had a Taco Salad - WITH QUESO on top - yep that was me!

I guess I need to avoid Mexican Food all together. It seems to be a weakness for me.

Another funny thing has happened - I am craving CHOCOLATE - oodles of it. I like chocolate don't get me wrong - but since this workout thing has been going on I am craving it like CRAZY -I cannot get it out of my head. It is crazy. Oh well I guess I am just weird like that.

On the home front - all is good except for my control issues that I am trying to deal with - I realized just the other day that even though I am embracing this role as a working mom and trying to let the guilt go I cannot let the control go - you know the "house has to be this way, checkbook balanced, bills paid on time by ME, children have to be bathed like this and wear these PJ's, lunches are made like this and put in the fridge the night before - no you cannot put the freezer pack in until morning, the princess cannot wear those boots to school because they do not match her uniform outfit that I have already washed, folded and laid out for tomorrow, the dishes have to be done before bed - yes you must hand-wash that glass before bed or I will never sleep because I know it is there. WHEW - that makes me sound super crazy but I am that way y'all - it is BAD. I know. Scream at me, laugh at me, but this is my blog about looking at me - and unfortunately my reflection is not looking so smoking hot right now. I am searching my heart and trying to come up with a better solution. I have started an e-mail thred on my facebook and my eyes have been totally opened - these sweet sisters of mine have encouraged me and helped me and I found that I am not alone.

OKAY - more on that later. Any thoughts?

now I am hoping I get over the big lunch I ate so that tonight will be productive during my shred!

Shred Day 3 Picture

2010-01-07T09:50:00.002-06:00

Sorry this is an AWFUL picture but it is what I have.

Here are my stats:

WT: 168

HT: 5"3

Good luck Girls!

Shredding and Working

2010-01-05T13:52:00.004-06:00

I started working out HARD today! WOO WOO! I am super excited - I have a trip to Florida planned late February - and I want to look great - and feel great! I am excited about my new workout and hope it works - watching what I eat too.

On another topic - I am looking for more support from working mom's - I so look up to stay at home mom's and envy the time they get with their kiddos. I have worked for nearly 10 years now and I have come to realize that this is the path that God wants for me - I need to make the best of it and try to figure out how to get my act together. The guilt is doing me no good. I am going to use this as an opportunity to minister to others.

What makes your working life/home-life/mommy life work?

Amy

New Goals

2009-12-10T10:56:00.004-06:00

So I have decided to make some goals here today - BEFORE NEW YEARS! HA! Imagine that. I have stumbled upon a lovely blog that the author is doing the shred - you know the 30 DayKillYourselfthatIDoNotKNOWHOWIWILLSURVIVE workout? Jillian Michael's hosts it - I am going to post all of the details here tomorrow -AFTER I take some pictures. YES I am going to take photos and track the progress. It will be ugly I know - It will NOT be fun - BUT I am determined to get back ME!

Here is the blog I was talking about: http://stepsof-faith.blogspot.com/

Anyone out there wanna join me??

COOL Giveaway

2009-12-09T11:57:00.002-06:00

MckMama is giving away a HP Touch Computer - Check it out! http://mckgiveaways.blogspot.com/2009/12/hp-touchsmart-giveaway.html

You can get up to 3 entries! It is totally cool - would LOVE to have one!

Time Flies

2009-12-07T12:05:00.002-06:00

Oh MY! I cannot believe how long it has been. I have thought a lot about what to post - I have been on a journey of my own. I cannot begin to describe all of the things going on right now - but this I know is true - God is near - He hold me up - He surrounds me. I will overcome all that is in my way. I will climb these mountains with His help. Most of this is self-inflicted. I have come to realize the many faults I have. I have come to realize that I am not perfect and cannot continue trying to "be" perfect or look perfect. I do not have a perfect house, marriage, children, job, family, body, or relationship with God. I am guilty of putting Him aside until I need Him. making Him convenient. I am guilty of sin. I have been in denial about my daughter - she is strong-willed and I have let her control me - I gotta get that under control. I am guilty of letting things go unsaid in my marriage - he has NO idea. I am guilty of trying to "be" something I am not.

So here it is - I have a lot of work to do. I have to continue to draw near to Him to overcome.

Christmas

2009-09-28T09:55:00.003-05:00

I was reminded last week that Christmas is less than 90 days away! Y'all I am pumped up for this year. I reflected in January of last year on Christmas for our family. Like many we juggled this gathering, this service, presents for this party etc. Somewhere in the middle I was able to pull it together and really focus on Christmas. I was able to really share with my kiddos what Christmas is. I was determined that this year I wanted that to be my primary focus - so I am going to plan earlier and stress less. I want it to be clear to my children that Christmas is not about the presents, parties, and FUN - but about rejoicing that our Savior was born for US - that is the GIFT of Christmas!

All of that said I have A LOT of work to do - but it will be worth it!

Here I am!

2009-09-24T11:24:00.003-05:00

I am here - alive and well! So much busier since school has started back and I got promoted at work to VP! WOW!

So here is a quick rundown:

Oldest (14) Playing 8th grade football and of course thinks he is a "man" now - ugh...hormones! He is wanting to be baptized which I have prayed over for years! Yay GOD!

Princess (5) In kindergarten - loves it and her teacher is a gift for sure! Love her. I am experimenting with discipline techniques - some work - some do not!

Lil Man (2) OH my precious 2 year old is doing great - he has a hard time expressing himself calmly - if you know what I mean! We are working on a discipline plan for him too!

Hubby (!) He is wonderful - I had a NICE free weekend last weekend in which I did a thorough"Fall-Cleaning" I feel so much better about my house now that it is de-cluttered and the summer stuff is stored away! YAY!

Now to me:

I am really starting to get a better routine and I have found a lot of tips from all of you guys! I have involved myself in a new bible study for parents and I love it! We have a great group. Work wise I have been promoted to VP - and it is a challenge but I have enjoyed my new role. I am working hard to balance work and family better. I have been faithful in my prayer time - if you are on my list I am still praying! (if you want on my list just leave a comment and I will add you!) My study time is not so consistent - but I am listening to some great books on CD to and from work.

So there it is for now! I am going to try and update at least 2 times a week - I feel so good letting it out when I write!

Love;

Amy Q

Where have you been...

2009-09-11T14:43:00.002-05:00

I have been very sick this week..I am better today but need more time to rest and heal.

more to come...

Weekend Happenings

2009-09-04T11:21:00.004-05:00

Wow - here we are again - it is Labor Day weekend! Yeah! I am excited to have an extra day off!! We have a lot of things happening around the house. We usually go to the lake - not this year. We are staying put. I have a lot of cleaning to catch up on. I know - we are supposed to rest and relax - well yall if you saw my house you would think that is ALL we do! So I have started a "Fall Fling" schedule which will include some down time. YEAH!

We also have a big time planned as parents of a teenager! He is going to a DNow retreat! He is PUMPED! My husband and I are attending the parent portion of it Sunday.

So other than major cleaning and learning more about parenting a teen - we will be:

Sleeping, grillin, playing in the water, making kiddie messes, watching a movie (tonight with my man) reading books, and doing some NON-LABOR things!

OH - one more thing - I have been working for a week on a letter to my man - about why I love him and what I want for us as a couple, parents, and what I need from him to help me be a better wife to him. Have y'all ever done that before - does it work??

Amy Q

New Things

2009-09-02T16:49:00.003-05:00

Oh I am so excited about the new things that are happening for us! We are beginning a new class tonight at church - called WEE STUFF - it is an interactive bible class for parents and children 2-5 years old! We are going to have a BLAST! Also tonight is a BIG rally for our teens who are doing the DNOW retreat this weekend along with a parenting seminar on Sunday. We have

a lot to anticipate. Also, a new thing is that my husband is agreeing to be INVOLVED in these activities! YEAH GOD! He is SO good!

Work may have some changes soon - continue to pray for that.

I am still seeking advice and reading things on discipline and my daughter. UGH that is never-ending but I know it will work out.

So there is the short version - more thoughts to come - I promise!

Amy Q

Just thoughts

2009-08-27T15:29:00.003-05:00

I am dealing with a lot of the regular old kindergarten blues lately. I cannot for the life of me get over that the lil 6lb baby girl I brought home from the hospital 5 years ago is now wandering the halls in a BIG school. Toting her pink backpack and purple lunch kit. I cannot believe how much she is learning already. She is delighted each day to tell me all about her new adventures. I am happy that this has been a good experience thus far and we are SO blessed she has a great teacher.

But she is that lil pink ball of goodness from 5 years ago. She is the lil princess that needs her mommy. She is that little babe I snuggled with, sang to, and played with. To see her "growing up" so quickly tugs at my heart. I am mixed up over this.

To top it all she has changed so much over the last few months - I am struggling with her discipline. I plan to read another book with the hope of finding new ideas to try out. She is an AMAZING girl with so much heart and soul - but boy does she ever have to have the last word!

Her first day I talked about GREEN. The second day was ORANGE! Excessive talking - not my child :) She LOVES to talk and SING. It was no surprise that she has issues with this at school.

On another note, my lil guy is becoming his own lil person too. He realizes that HE gets to go the Sharon's by himself. I thought he might have a little trouble - NOPE, he loves it. He gets one on one time with me every morning on our way. He gets to be the big boy and walk in by himself. He is SO cut if I say so myself! His new word is AIRPLANE!

The oldest - well you know how those 14 yr olds are - it is a great time for him. He is in 8th grade - big man on campus. Made the "A" team in football. We are excited for him. He is going to a youth rally at church in a few weeks. I am excited about that.

I was reminded of a verse the other day - Ex. 14:14, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." I am moved by this!

Hope y'all all have a blessed week.

Love;

Amy Q

To Be Green

2009-08-25T14:24:00.005-05:00

I love green - it means go, it means clean, it could mean $$ (not much in my house). Yesterday was the first day of school. My sweet daughter went to kindergarten. It was a crazy morning. I had it all mapped out - up and at'em and we really had a great start. I had my plan in action - youngest to daycare, drop oldest off at Jr. high, and then walk my sweet girl to her class, making sure she was happy and in her seat promptly at 7:50. Yep that was the plan. At 7:05 we were out the door and off to the races. We talked about the day and what she should expect - she was so very excited. As I turned into the drive at daycare - which by the way is 8 miles from where we live - my youngest started to whimper - then he cried - then he vomited - ALL over the car. My daughter then proceeded to tell me she needed to potty BAD. I rushed her inside to potty grabbed towels from daycare worker and told them my youngest price would NOT be at school. I took princess out to the car and "cleaned" up my lil man as best I could - without vomiting myself!

I made a frantic call to daddy and told him to hi-tail it home to take care of the sickly one. (Daddy was 30 minutes away) It is now about 7:20. I drive back to town drop off the oldest wish him a happy day - with not much reaction. I rush through the traffic in our little town to the house and take the little ones inside. I wash up the lil one - daddy comes in. It is now 7:50. Princess knows we are late because she can read a clock. She begins to cry. I console her into the car and proceed to take her to school. We rush into the classroom where I see the teacher doing a back to school activity. Princess goes to her chair sits down and turns to the page they were on - she never knew I even left.

I went through my day checking on the youngest who was with Daddy. He was fine. I thought of my lil girl a lot. Wondering how she was and if she missed me or if she was scared or if she was paying attention and not talking 90 miles an hour. Oh I prayed for her and her teacher.

So daddy went and picked the girl up - she called me on the way home. I asked her how her day was - here was her response:

"Momma I stayed on GREEN all day!"

That is all. That was what was important to her.

I think about that - I wish I could "stay on green" all day. Makes you think - we do have our Father watching over us nudging us onward. I know too often I am not on :green" so to speak. I have had a few RED days for sure.

So yes; my lil price was GREEN all day and the princess was ON GREEN, and the oldest - well he needs more GREEN for MORE school supplies.

Reflecting

2009-08-10T11:30:00.004-05:00

So here I am. It has been awhile. I have had a lot on my plate. As we all do I know.

I started this blog to reflect on my life, feelings, kids, and journey with my Lord.

It kinda began to consume me. I did not post as much as I wanted to but this blog has led me to others and to seek out information to try and "help" me grow. I have read a lot. I have to take a minute to be honest and raw.

The last few weeks has found me in a dark place. I have harbored a lot of anger. I am disappointed in myself as a wife, mother, friend and most of all as HIS child. I have prayed prayers for others seeking God's blessings for them. I have not been a good prayer warrior for myself or my family.

As a wife:

I have neglected my husband, I have treated him like a child and I have let the little things that annoy me consume my thoughts of him. I have snapped at him, nagged him, and other cruel things. WHY? I love him - I want to honor him. WHY? I think that for the most part I want us to be in a place that we are not. I want him to seek God as I do. I wan t him to quit doing things that are destructive to himself and to our family. He thinks I am moody and that it is no big deal. It is just how he is and I have to accept that. I feel that I don't have to accept it and that he needs to change. (THIS IS WRONG I KNOW)

As a mother: I have struggled more in the last month with my daughter. I cannot get her to listen. She is totally DRAMA and it goes against all that I would have thought for her. She went to my sisters house and was awful. I am struggling with yelling at her. She knows what button to push and BOY does she ever. I also am trying to potty train the youngest one - who only wants to potty on the floor. He has mastered NO to the point of TOTAL frustration on my part. And the oldest - well he has made it known that HE knows it all and we are totally stupid and unfair.

I am not handling all of this well at all. These gifts from God are tearing me up on the inside. I do not like the mother that I am right at this moment. I do not like the screaming, yelling, crying, and drama - THAT I AM DOING. I feel more like one of them than the one in charge.

As a friend:

I have a circle of friends - made up of 5. We have been "sisters" for the last three years. Things that are hurtful have happened. The group has been divided. Angry words have flown in e-mails. I need these ladies - at least I think I do. I have asked the parties involved to pray over it and hopefully we can repair the damage.

As HIS child:

I have not been to worship in weeks. I have not read His word in weeks. I have been faithful to my prayer journal - but as I have said it is for others. I have been angry at our home situation, our finances, my work situation that is not any better, my marriage etc.

All of this to say - Lord I am tired. I feel hopeless and afraid. I need You Lord to work in my heart. Please forgive me lord for falling away. Lord give me wisdom as I face these challenges. Bless my family Lord with your presence and help me to be the example to my husband and children that I need to be to show them You and Your love.

Amen.

Stellan

2009-07-24T13:19:00.002-05:00

Please take a minute to pray for little Stellan and his family as they are in the hospital charting the unknown with his care. They are trying a new combination of drugs to help slow his SVT. You can visit his site at www.mycharmingkids.net

I will keep them all in my prayers along with the many children facing illness.

Love;

Amy Q

Hope

2009-07-20T09:38:00.003-05:00

Psalm 33:20-21 (New International Version)

²⁰ We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.

²¹ In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

Waiting. I don't do that well. Last week was a test for me. Waiting on doctors to return my calls, waiting on test results, waiting on customers to call back with orders etc.

I was very negative last week. I war fearful for my son. I wanted to badly to know that he was OK. Why I could not have faith that God was in control and that I was doing a great job is beyond me. I had very little hope. I doubted the doctors that I have trusted for over 5 years now with my little one. I doubted that my son was healing.

I doubted that I would have any orders so that my numbers would increase. I had no hope that the economy was indeed getting better - at least in our region.

God was testing me. By Friday morning I had answers. Mason was healing and responding. I had 5 orders come in and more to bid this week.

Rejoice - It took some time to let it hit me. In fact if I really want to be honest here I did not rejoice until Mason woke up with visible signs that he was better. I did not really rejoice about work until I talked to my husband about it Sunday.

I am ashamed of that. I think that all of the negativity that has filtered into my life the last few weeks has hurt my hope and my faith.

The key word in the verse above is wait. WE WAIT IN HOPE. We are in a world that is instant - e-mails, faxes, Internet, chats and more tools that we have gives us instant data and instant "answers" but God wants us to wait. Let Him be the healer. Wait.

Then He wants us to REJOICE because we trust His holy name.

I am thankful that I have answers and that I have been blessed. Yesterday I held my babe and cuddled with him. I was thankful that he was getting better and that God has blessed me now with 2 years of him. Yes, he turned 2 yesterday! I read heart-wrenching stories of mommy's that have to say goodbye to their babies so early. God has blessed me with this child for two years! Time has gone quickly - but I am so proud to be his mommy. I said a prayer last night for him and for other mom's that might be hurting. I hope we all realize that there is hope. We are blessed. God is GOOD!

Praying that all of you have hope in your dark times.

Love;

Amy Q

In Sickness and Health!

2009-07-16T09:03:00.002-05:00

MY OH MY how time flies. A lot has happened in the last week or so. Work is not really any better. I am hopeful for a resolution soon. My youngest has been battling a serious ear infection that has damaged 3/4 of his eardrum so I have been shuffling to specialists, CT scans, and testing. It looks pretty good now we have more concerns with the hole than we do the infection. My husband has been out of town a lot with work too so my blog time has been limited.

I am just in a "funk" right now. I am not on track and I need to get back to me soon!

What steps do you take to re-group and get back to yourself? I have had some bouts with depression, pity, anger, fear and I just want to feel refreshed again. I am so tired too. My son has not slept well and I have spent the last 4 out of six nights without my hubby next too me.

I am focusing on blessings right now. I have more answers about my son's condition than I did on Monday, we will have some extra $$ due to the overtime, and yes I will get caught up on my sleep eventually!

We are going to our family lake cabins this weekend - my aunt is getting married!! Yeah for her! My uncle passed away about 14 years ago leaving her with 3 children to raise. She started college and received her Masters in Bi-Lingual Education this past May! Her youngest will graduate from High School in two years and we are so thrilled that she is marrying again! She has endured many trials and came out on top! She has also lost about 80 pounds over the last 3 years, has on child out of college, one attending Baylor on a full academic scholarship, and her youngest will get his Eagle Scout next year! She is an amazing woman of faith, great mom, and a blessing to all of her family!

So that is about it for now!

I will hopefully post some pictures of the wedding and our cabins Monday!

No Guts No Glory?

2009-07-08T05:40:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I had my evaluation at work. I haven't had one in 5 years folks! If you don't already know I work for my family business in sales. My job has changed considerably in the last year due to the loss of my boss last December.
We have not had a great year so far. Its a "tough economic time" for us too. My evaluation was really good - work hard, steps up to the plate, accepts challenges, works well with people, etc. I scored a 4+ out of five on my evaluation that included averaging my co-workers evaluation of me, the presidents evaluation of me (dad) and my evaluation of me. I want to note that my evaluation of myself was slightly lower than anyone else. All was going great. It lasted 2 1/2 hours.
Here is where the guts come in. At the end of all of our evaluations comes the time where you may or may not get a raise. Well it was brought up and I told them that I thought I deserved a raise on my base salary - have not had one since 2003 - things have changed for me a lot since then - 2 babies born, daycare costs up, cost of living increases, medical bills SKY high so I felt a little help there was warranted after all I had a high score and I have worked VERY hard.
My father thought I was OUT OF MY MIND. It got really heated. It was hurtful. It was not good. I do not like confrontation at all. I finally stated that I understood that I am not meeting my quota this year so far - but I have in the past 6 years and I did not think it was right to punish me for this year and note look at the past 6 years. here is what I got -
"Bottom line you are an expense and not making enough $$ to cover your cost (for the whole department) your commission is your raise - you hit that then you will have your raise."
I had the GUTS but there is no Glory in that.
You have to realize that my job is not just sales like the description states. I do a lot more than that. I manage the whole department - run reports, marketing, etc. Stuff my sales manager did when he was alive. I also run the company when they are out on their many vacations. (They are going to Austrailia in November for 26 days!) I take care of little problems that pop up that the other employees don't want to bother them with.
So what does all of this mean? I do not know. I am still stinging from the hurtful words that were said, my head hurts from thinking about it, my heart hurts from it too.
Part of me wants to quit. Part of me wants to just keep moving day by day.
God knows what will happen and all I can do is listen to him and try to make the right decisions daily. That doesn't mean that it is going to be easy to go to work today.

Sons

2009-06-29T09:49:00.002-05:00

Proverbs 29:17 (New International Version)

¹⁷ Discipline your son, and he will give you peace;
he will bring delight to your soul.

My almost 2 year old son is really making me reflect on this verse. He has been more difficult than the other two. My oldest I did not have to discipline at that age but we are going through the teenage years and it is trying in another way.

It is hard to understand exactly what he wants because he only speaks a few words or phrases - but he has "NO" down pat. I am not here to discuss discipline in the general sense - "time-outs, spankings, and taking away privileges" I am talking about what his outbursts do to me.

He gets angry a lot when he does not get his way. Typical I know but it wears me out! I do not like to yell at my kids - I am not perfect and it does happen more than I like to admit. Most of his outbursts come when his sister tries to "mother" him or if he gets into her room and she wants him out. He is very pushy with her as well. Trying to teach him boundaries is not an easy task as well. He thinks that everything is "mine" and that if you have something he wants he will get it one way or another - that may be in the form of a total meltdown fit, hitting, biting, pushing or pinching.

All of this tugs at my heart as to what I should do. I have tried several techniques with no good results. I have tried to work with Abby to try and let him be and that she is not the Mommy.

What disturbs me the most is that I am seeing her react to him in ways that I have before and it makes me ashamed. I guess seeing it happen through her makes me realize I need a new approach.

I do not want them to grow up and realize that I yelled at them constantly or spoke harshly to them. I want them to see me as a loving mother who had rules that were to be followed.

I am at a loss right now as to which direction to go. I will continue to pray over it and hope that my actions will change for the better.

I love them more than I can even describe.

Making a Happy Home Monday

2009-06-22T19:55:00.002-05:00

EXCEDRIN! That is what makes this a happy home this Monday! I have a HUGE headache! I have MOUNDS of Laundry and two kids that want to play outside but it is too hot. So there you go today - it's EXCEDRIN.

Normal

2009-06-21T21:39:00.002-05:00

So I have been thinking on this one for a little while and I am sorting out my thoughts on:
What is NORMAL?
I read several blogs and I find that all of the authors and I have at least something in common - but we are very different on several levels. I like to see what others are doing raising children, being married, working - or staying at home, growing in the Lord, cooking, cleaning, and homemaking.
When I read these blogs I start to think a lot about my life. Am I NORMAL?
I have decided that NO I am not - we shouldn't have those thoughts. I am unique. I have unique children, husband, and household. I am ME. I am loving, caring, nurturing, funny, and most of all I am God's child. I have flaws. I am not perfect. BUT - I love God and strive to be my best for Him and my family.
Normal for me is not normal for others. That is OK. I am OK. You are OK. We are all made in God's image. We are all His children and just like my children are all different we are all different to Him as well.
So there you have it I am NOT normal - and I am OK with that!
Love;
Amy Q

Pray for Stellan

2009-06-19T08:56:00.006-05:00

UPDATE 3:30 CST:

According to MckMama Stellan is holding on for now. They MAY get to go home if his condition stays good and the SVT does not return. Please continue to pray for this little guy and his mama. I cannot imagine her feelings right now. She TWEETS fairly often to let everyone know how things are going and the last few seem to be positive considering what they have been facing.

Continuing to pray for them is all we can do for now.

If you drop by and do not know about Baby Stellan please hit the button at the top right of my blog.

I have been touched deeply by this story. It has changed my heart in many ways. Stellan's weak physical heart has made my spiritual heart stronger. I have prayed more - not just for him but for many. I have started a written journal that I read and pray over in the morning - this leads me into my own prayer time and reflections with God. Prayer changes things. I am a believer in prayer, but have not always been faithful. For about 3 months now I cannot remember a time that I have not prayed in the morning. This little book goes with me everywhere I go and I add too it as I need to . This could be more prayer requests that I come upon throughout my day - it has also become my PRAISE journal. It is not a big thing - just a little Memo book that can fit in my purse,pocket, or tote bag. I have been blessed by this book and this activity in many ways.

Stellan is not doing well and I asking that if you haven't already - please stop for a moment and whisper,shout, or cry out a prayer for him and his family.

Philippians 1:9-10 (New International Version)

⁹And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ.

Summer

2009-06-18T16:06:00.003-05:00

Well if you did not know Summer will be officially here on Sunday. It already feels like summer to me - and has for several weeks. maybe it is because of the 90 degree weather we have had. OR all of the activities we have done - Water parks, lake trips, swimming, Popsicles, sprinklers and using the AC more! I love summer. I love to be out on the lake soaking up the sun - with my SPF 50 sunblock of course! I love to spend more time outside! I love to watch the kids play late into the evening. It is just a fun time of year for us.

What fun things are you planning for Summer?

Hearts

2009-06-16T08:14:00.004-05:00

I am working on my heart. I want so many things spiritually and I try so hard to accomplish them and then Satan steps in and begins to tear me down. I get doubtful. I blame myself. I give up. I start again. i feel failures. I hurt.

It is a vicious cycle that I hope to overcome soon. I read a verse that I repeat a lot these days:

2 Corinthians 4:16 (New International Version)

¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

I am renewed day by day! I must not lose heart. I must keep trying to seek Him out and continue to grow. I am working hard at finding truths in my life and working on being Christ-minded. The world has changed me and I must allow God to change my heart. I have done things I am not proud of, I have let people down, I have been selfish, I have sinned the many sins that plague my life multiple times.

But I cannot loose heart. I must continue to work day by day with a renewed spirit and heart.

God blesses us with that renewal. God wants to work on me and you. We have to get over ourselves and quit trying to "fix"it or do it our way. God will do the healing if we let him. He is our Father, our Creator, our healer of broken hearts.

I pray today that God speaks to our hearts and continues to encourage us to seek Him and love Him - Wholeheartedly! He can mend the fragments and make us whole again. I praise Him for that!

Blessings;

Amy Q

Gods Rain

2009-06-11T21:09:00.004-05:00

Here in the heat of Texas we have had torrential rains. Like 8-10" folks. Power-outages at our home lasted 16 hours. Flooding streets, muddy shoes, and deafening thunders shook my house. I had a lot of time to think and to be still. I had time to have personal worship with my King. I feel refreshed. I feel renewed. Was it a stressful time? You bet it was at times. Explaining to a 5 year old why we have not lights, hot water, or why we cannot open the refrigerator is not an easy task. Waking my babies up to take PJ's off so they will not be too hot was not fun either. Filling their time in the dark with raging storms outside the window was tough too. BUT - I was OK. I was refreshed and renewed!

I thought about the water that washes us clean. I reflected back to June 21, 1989 when I walked with my dad to the front of the church and proclaimed Jesus as the Son of God who died for MY sins. I remember my baptism like it was yesterday - I remember how I felt as I came out of the water - refreshed and renewed.

God's rain the last two days has had me reflecting on His power to wash us all clean. I wanted to soak in it and feel the clean. I read a verse that I want to share:

1 Peter 3:13-22

13Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear[b]; do not be frightened."[c] 15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 18For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit, 19through whom[d] also he went and preached to the spirits in prison 20who disobeyed long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, 21and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge[e] of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22who has gone into heaven and is at God's right hand—with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him.

Just soak that one in. I have read it several times and really thought about how I want to apply it to my life.

I praise God for He is SO very good in my life. I am a sinner - but I am saved by His Grace.

I pray all of you are able to wash in God's love and grace tonight.

Blessings;

Amy Q

Works for Me Wednesday - Summer

2009-06-10T09:39:00.003-05:00

Check out other WFMW ideas at: http://www.wearethatfamily.com

I work full time - it is not an easy thing but it is where I am at for now. Summer can be tough because it is my favorite time of year. Before school was out we as a family sat down and made a list of things the kids wanted to do - ANYTHING. We had several things from - blowing bubbles to Disneyland but we narrowed our list down and we made a timeline as to when we will do those things. I put them on a calender and we now have our guidebook as to what "extra" activities we would do during summer. This includes swimming at my mom's once a week, visiting local farms to pick various fruits and veggies, going to the lake, playing outside EVERYDAY when we get home - we have several activities planned for that.

This year we did something else - we had my oldest (14) research the place we will be taking them on vacation. He is to find things that we can do in that area and the cost of those things - this is his summer project. We are not going until August - so he and I and hubby will work together to get a plan in action. HE LOVES THIS!!

I have never done this before and so far it WORKS FOR ME!

God Bless

Amy Q

Making a Happy Home Monday

2009-06-08T08:30:00.006-05:00

You can join this GREAT carnival at http://as-for-me-and-my-house.blogspot.com/

Here is what LL Says about the carnival.

"The point of this carnival is simple. I hope to encourage and inspire others (as well as be made accountable) to improve their homes. If there is a big project you have been putting off....or a small project that you are saving....please, just put in the time and do it. I'm not necessarily talking about the day to day swishing of the toilet or wiping down the counters. I'm talking about that closet that is easily hidden behind the door, but every time you open it, you regret it. You know how you feel when you do finally get it cleaned up. You are happy....and that filters throughout your home. So find a project, big or small, to clean, organize or beautify."

I am glad to be here another time and want to share my idea of making my home happy today. We go to various functions over the summer. The lake Cabins my parents have, BBQ dinners, swimming, camping etc. You name it and we are there pretty much. I have 2 smaller kiddos (5 and almost 2) They tend to get into everything - bugs, dirt, water and more. it never fails I have to find band aids, antiseptic, benadryl, Tylenol and other first aid items. Now I used to have a big first aid box that I lugged everyehre. If you live in the HOT land of Texas having such a kit in the car is not the best idea I have learned as things melt, get sticky, or even explode! So I came up with an idea this past spring. I down sized to a plastic pencil box and A LOT of miniature first aid items like Neo-To-Go, Spray benadryl, and band aids. I keep it stocked with a few doses of meds I might need for a day trip or even over night. I throw it in my suitcase and we are off - prepared for any small emergency that might come my way like Abby stepping in an ant pile and having 14 ant bites - not that that happened this weekend - and I was prepared with the benadryl spray and the fast melt benadryl to help with her reaction. Made me happy along with daddy and my princess who now wants to have 14 hello kitty band aids on her little leg and foot!

Give me Patience

2009-06-04T08:38:00.003-05:00

1 Thessalonians 5:12-14 (New International Version)

¹²Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. ¹³Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. ¹⁴And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.

This struck me this morning like a ton of bricks. It was towards the end of my reading and I caught myself being hurried. "Live in PEACE with each other....be patient with everyone" I don't know about you but I have not done so well with these two. I am an encourager, kind, loving, a helper by nature - but I do not live in peace all of the time. I think of my mornings - If I wake up late it is RUSH,RUSH,RUSH - a lot of "hurry up!" and "let's GO" and "NOW" Not very peaceful or patient.

I get angry at work sometimes. I want things done right the first time - because I feel that I don't have time to "fix" things. I get frustrated when other people's problems become mine. I get selfish thinking "why do I have to deal, with ....?" This cause a very un-peaceful and inpatient attitude.

And after work I find I am most at peace after the "get home, love kiddos and get dinner done routine - and we are all outplaying in the yard. I relish the memories that we are making with our kids - playing a game of tag, swinging on the swings, digging in the dirt and playing kickball. Hearing their giggles and laughter brings me peace.

My question is "why can't I look at those things and relish my morning times and look at the good in the people around me during my day?" I need patience.I need to live in peace. I need to focus on the good in all things God places before me. I need to be aware of my words and my tone. I need to look at others in a different light.

I pray that God blesses you all and that you too may find Peace and Patience during your day today.

Love;

Amy Q

Wonder

2009-06-02T09:49:00.004-05:00

Job 5:9 (New International Version)

⁹ He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed,
miracles that cannot be counted.

Following the theme from Sunday's lesson at church I wanted to continue my thought of God's awesome power. I am guilty of forgetting the miracle's that God has bestowed on my family and I. I am guilty of not being thankful for all of the blessings that God has laid at my feet. I get wrapped up in my "problems" and my selfishness that I tend to not look at the miracles and blessings as faithfully as I should. I am challenged to look and stand in AWE of him and his wonders that HE delivers to me. For just a moment I will stop and feel God in my life. Right now I can hear the thunder and the rain approaching this little spot in God's universe. We looked at that Sunday. Pastor Brent showed us a demonstration on just how small we are. We are a pinpoint in God's universe - yet He hears every thought, every prayer, every cry to Him. He flows through our bodies wanting desperately to be proclaimed to all of His people. He wants us to stand in AWE of His wonders and praise Him. I don't know about you but it has been a long time since I have done that.

I pray that each of you will take a moment and look at His wonders and praise Him.

Love;

Amy Q

June

2009-06-01T08:42:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I went to church and we discussed how in this day and time we have begun to loose out "awe and wonder of God" This touched my heart to its core. I miss feeling at awe with God. To soak his beauty up and wring it out to the people around me. To be still and look at His wonderful Creation. Pastor Brent talked about how in this "connected" world we have gotten disconnected with God's beauty. When was the last time you looked up a t a night sky and felt tiny? We get so wrapped up in where we have to be, what we have to do, who we need to call, e-mail, text, chat or see. We don't stop and look at God's creation and PRAISE Him.

I am in awe today. Today is a special day. It is June 1st. It marks a new month, new beginning, new sunrise and new sunset. It is a beautiful day here.

This morning I sat beside Abby's bed and looked at her sleeping. Her soft wavy hair around her little pink face. I listened to her breathing in and out. She was so peaceful. I then sang quietly -

"you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away"

How did my little sunshine go from this:

To this:

I am in AWE if God's amazing power to create such a beautiful soul who is 5 years old today!

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made"

I ask all of you to stop and look at God's creation - and praise Him!!

Love;

Amy Quinn

Time

2009-05-20T10:35:00.002-05:00

Time goes so very fast. I have time on my mind a lot. I need to re-focus my time. Time with God, husband, children, friends, family, work, church etc. We celebrated our 6th anniversary on the 10th which happened to be Mothers Day as well. What a celebration. my husband and I have been through many ups and downs and we always seem to overcome whatever God puts in our path. Sometimes we have struggled through it and other times it was a blessing to have a roadblock. I am blessed to have a partner who supports me and understands me. He is so very patient with me. I love him!!

My daughter turns 5 in June. I cannot believe that my angel girl is going to be five. I have a special post for her coming up. She is a delight!

Mason got a "real" haircut last week and my he is a little man now. But I relish the morning moments when he only wants "lovies" from mommy. He is so tender-hearted and loving.

Time. I have not been as faithful in my reading. I am continuing to have prayer time in the mornings and in the car as much as I can - but I thirst for His word. Time.

I watch as my Granny falls deeper into Parkinson's Disease. Her time is fading faster each day. I miss her - the Granny I have known all of my life is no longer there.

Time. We rush and rush and the time goes by. I need to re-focus my time before it slips by and I have regrets.

Amy Q

Weekend Re-cap

2009-05-11T12:00:00.002-05:00

Happy Mother's day to all!! I had a wonderful weekend! We spent time with my mom and granny on Saturday. My sweet kiddos got me flowers for my flowerbeds and my hubby cooked me a steak dinner complete with a cake last night. I did NO cooking and little cleaning yesterday. We invited my neighbor and her family and my parents for dinner so I did help some with house preparations. It was also my 6th anniversary to my wonderful man. He and I have been through our share of ups and downs and I am proud to be his wife now for 6 years and many more to come. I pray that you are all having a great week and had a blessed mother's day!

Love;

Amy Q

Texas Snow and Strep Throat?/

2009-05-08T08:26:00.004-05:00

I was trying to get a picture of what we like to call Texas Snow in our neighborhood. It never fails this time of year you can go outside and see white fluffy "flakes" floating around and covering your yard with a white blanket of "snow" or for better clarification cottonwood seeds. Our yard this morning was COVERED with the stuff! It is actually kinda pretty - but unfortunately it does not melt. Instead it piles up and if it rains it gets really goopy and gross. Not to mention it doesn't help allergy sufferers.

So my next point is about strep throat. We flew our sales guy in from Lubbock on Tuesday. He was to help me out and to do some training while my parents were in the Bahamas. He wasn't feeling too well but he was OK according to him. So yesterday we had a trip to make that required about 4 hour of driving. IN MY TRUCK. When we got back he said he HAD to go to the DR because he was REALLY sick. When he returned he gave me the news that he had "severe Strep Throat" GREAT. So I sent him to his Hotel and disinfected everything I could think of and prayed over my car seats to PLEASE don't let my kids catch this.

So far so good - but we shall see. Please pray!!

Swine Flu Hits K-Town..maybe

2009-05-05T08:13:00.003-05:00

So last night we received a text from one of my oldest son's friends - saying "school's out till the 18th" I told my son that it was probably a joke that K-town was certainly NOT going to close down for two weeks. Well I was WRONG!

My neighbor's daughter had a band concert last night and she said that they announced it there. So being the mom I am I looked online and yes indeed the schools were closing. What shocked me was the reason WHY. According to a statement from the district there is "one probable case"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! PROBABLE - not confirmed.

I am a momma of three and yes I am on alert for the signs of this bug. i am washing their hands more and using a little more cleaning product in the bathroom and kitchen. I am NOT taking them to school or pre-school sick. I am even watching who they are around. We will probably not go to KIDS STUFF (all-play) at church on Wednesday. We will just go to choir and guppy class an I will go to MOPS.

Needless to say I was glad to hear that our pre-school was only going to close (for 72 hrs) if there was a direct CONFIRMED case linked to the school. (Whew) This means that my hubby and I will not have to take 2 weeks off. (We only have 4 days between the 2 of us left) I we had to take off we would lose 6 days of pay and that my friends would hurt this household! We do have an emergency fund - however it would be nice to use that on something NEEDED instead of demanded from this school district.

So I am closing this soapbox now with a side note that the CDC is NOT recommending closing schools. WHAT? REALLY? SHOCKER!

OK I am done now.

OH and D- I hope you have fun in Florida - you deserve it. I am praying for you to have a safe trip. Isn't it fun to be spontaneous?? Enjoy your 2 weeks off! Now you can blog more.

Amy Q

Making a Happy Home (mom) Monday

2009-05-04T05:29:00.003-05:00

Update: You can join this GREAT carnival at http://as-for-me-and-my-house.blogspot.com/

Here is what LL Says about the carnival.

So here is my entry for today:

I did something yesterday that has made my day today! I cleaned out my dresser and re-arranged my drawers that make more sense and makes it easier for others to locate where my clothes go! This morning when I went to get my clothes for today - in the dark - it was a snap.
Here is what I did:
1. I took out all of the drawers and set them on the floor in a "U" shape around me
2. Emptied out one drawer at a time and an sorted the clothes by type
3. While doing the above step I took out the clothes that needed a new home and put them in my "give away bag
4. I added a few small baskets to my undie drawer to separate out the socks, hose, undies
5. Placed the right clothes in each drawer - put a little label on the inside of the drawer to let others know what went in that drawer
6. Put the drawers back in the dresser in order.

This sounds easy - and it only took about 15 minutes - but it is going to make a big difference in my mornings when I am looking for certain clothes.
It has also motivated me to work on other dressers in this house!! Told hubby we would do his tonight! He said mine looked really good!
So that is making my home a little happier today!
Y'all have a great week!
Amy Q

Revised Reflection

2009-04-30T12:40:00.004-05:00

My blog name is Reflections in my Mirror. I thought it would be good to show you my reflection as I see it today.

This morning I thought a lot about my reflection. So here I go.

Physically - I have great eyes! Really I do. I could use a haircut. I need to loose some weight - but that too will come.

Emotionally: I am a mixture of emotions. I am reading a book on Peace. True Peace in God that I long for. I long to feel at ease and that God truly is working on me. I am happy. I look around me and I feel happy. I am sad that hubby and i had an argument and we have yet to work it out - but we agreed to talk about it more after we have each thought about the issue at hand and can speak better about it to one another. I am hopeful that this journey I am on will be successful.

Spiritually: the Peace I spoke of earlier is my main focus. i am settled with God about my sins and I am working on those. I have prayed more lately and that makes me feel closer to God. I need to read more in His word.

I am very tired of stress. I want to banish it! I want change in a lot of things - my mothering, my marriage, my work, my relationships. I have to come to terms with those things.

God is working - it takes time I know. But HE is near and I am feeling HIM more everyday.

So that is what I am "seeing" in my mirror today!

Amy Quinn

Making a Happy Home Monday

2009-04-28T08:03:00.004-05:00

UPDATE: 2 nights in a row!!!

Ok: this is late I know, but my happy home Monday came late and I was trying to stay on task. In my post yesterday I was pretty stressed out. BUT, it is amazing how if you write it out you can come to a resolution quickly. So here is what made my home happy yesterday:
I left work ON TIME instead of staying later
I picked up the lil one's from pre-school
I Got home and spent a few minutes hugging an loving on the kiddos
I had princess help me cook - SHE LOVED IT!!
Lil man liked to play in the flour..made a mess but it was quickly cleaned up.
We all sat and ate together without the TV on (It was not even turned on at all!!!)
Switched out laundry
Bathed lil ones/ready for bed/story time/lil man to bed (8:15!!!!!)/bible time with Princess
Princess in bed (8:45!!!!!!) She did not stay but I did not give in either!
Folded laundry/cleaned up kitchen
Showered, ready for bed (9:30!!!!)
Prayer time
Hugged the hubby - he was outside in his shop working on a truck to sell
Bedtime without TV on! (10:00)
YEAH ME!!!!
So what made my home happier was setting up a schedule and turning off that TV!! And it did not kill me.
I was able to get up this morning full of energy and had some extra time to pray.
Love;
Amy Q
So that folks is my new goal - setting up a schedule that works and trying to stick to it.

Why do I feel like I am going through the motions

2009-04-27T16:10:00.003-05:00

I want to share some thoughts about myself today that I have struggled with for a long time. I want to be real to you - all three of you! By writing things out I feel like I can sort it out and maybe come up with a resolution. I am tired today. I am tired of looking in the mirror an wondering who that really is. I am a wife. I am a mom. I am a daughter and a sister. I am a co-worker. I am a friend. Why do I look so unhappy? God has blessed me with many great things. I was spared from cancer, birthed 2 wonderful children, healed of MRSA, have a great husband, home, and family. Why do I feel like I am running in circles. I feel like I cannot accomplish much. I tried to clean this weekend only to find that as a room was cleaned and I was off to another the clean room was quickly messed up AGAIN. I tried to cook from scratch all weekend only to find that no one but lil man ate with me. AND don't get me started on the laundry. To top it off I did not wake when I should have. ( I was only an hour behind) I feel like I am in a vicious cycle. I cannot get a hold of a good schedule. (Did I really have one anyway?) I have prayed many times today that God will help calm my heart. I feel like I am out of control and I need balance. I want to do so many things for my husband and children. I want to be a better wife and mom. I just need better direction. I feel that I am going nowhere on this path. Now I just need to find another path. Have any of you felt this way? What helped you? I would love to have feedback.

Love;

Amy Q

Girlfriends

2009-04-25T14:05:00.002-05:00

Today I went to a Spring Ladies Lunch at the church we have been going to for the last 7 months. OK I admit I was reluctant as this church is BIG for my liking and I know a few people and I confess that even though I like the church I picked it because of my kids - especially my oldest who needed a place to learn and grow in the Lord with kids his age.
I thought it was just lunch and fellowship. I was WRONG! They had a table decorating contest and I must say that there are some crafty folks at our church. The most important part was the speaker. She ministers to ladies about growing together and reaching out to other women. She talked about how much wisdom we have lost due to the fact that younger ladies do not fellowship with older ladies. She discussed the differences between the older generation and the younger generation. How the Internet and the "connections" are technical instead of personable. We have to adjust our styles and how we NEED each other. God instructs us to fellowship with younger and older women. We don't do that like we should. I have a few girlfriends that I know would do anything I ask - but I confess that I let LIFE and JUNK get in the way of that connection. I am going to challenge myself to try and seek out others to help me on my journey as well as others that I may also touch. I pray that you all have a great week! Call your girlfriend!!!

God is SO good

2009-04-21T08:47:00.003-05:00

Hey! I just wanted to share with you that God is go good. I don't have any amazing news or anything like that. This morning I decided to sit outside and drink my coffee for a few minutes and I was blessed with so much of God's creation I can't explain it all. I was able to see the sun creeping up through the trees. I saw "our" bunny munching on our clover in the yard. I took deep breaths and listened to the birds. I said my prayers and thanked God for this day ahead. Even though we get bogged down with all of the negative there is a constant - God works his wonders to bring about His beauty in this sometimes ugly world. He is so powerful and brilliant! May you all have a blessed day!

Love,

Amy Q

It's me again..

2009-04-15T08:16:00.003-05:00

Sorry it has been awhile...We have had an awful illness strike our household and I have not had the time or energy to blog. My lil man came home last Wednesday with the stomach virus, he missed the Zoo. I went with my princess and my big boy to the zoo and we had a blast. All seemed to be well, we were preparing for a great Easter Celebration with my sister - until 2:00am Sunday morning when princess came in our room sick. So we celebrated Easter at home. My neighbor cooked a ham and some veggies and I made mashed potatoes and cake. We had a quiet dinner with just us. I had to stay home Monday - thought everything was OK, until I got weak and felt VERY ill. My hubby came home as soon as he could and it was off to bed I went - for nearly 24 hours! I feel OK, just weak. So the kiddos went back to school and I am at work - with a tall mountain of work to make up. I will say this - my naturopath dr prescribed Ginger tea and I doubled my dosage of probiotics - I am feeling pretty good considering all that has happened. She said that my immune system was probably low due to the lack of sleep I have had with all of these sick lil ones and the stresses of all of that and being worried about work. So there you have it.
I hope all of you have a blessed day!
Love;
Amy Q

In Awe

2009-04-08T08:28:00.002-05:00

I am in awe today at this BEAUTIFUL day that is before me. I was able to cuddle with lil man this morning and witness his sweetness. He patted my face and said "my momma" in the softest voice ever. He is my inspiration today! I hope to reflect sweetness today in my words and actions. My children are each unique and I am blessed to have them! I also witnessed my oldest as he gently helped lil man in his jacket and tenderly coaxed him outside to get in the car - no harsh tones, no grumbling - just pure tenderness. (this is a big deal for my 14 yr old!) As I got princess ready she said "momma you are the prettiest momma!" I needed that! God speaks through others - even the smallest voices can be heard and appreciated! I hope that today you too will witness God's goodness through others.

Love,
Amy Q

Pray for my Cause!

2009-04-01T08:48:00.002-05:00

If anyone is out there - please pray for my outreach to the single parents in my community. Our church has found 100 single parent families that need help. I have pledged to my Church ALL of my profits from my Beauticontrol business I have for this month to go towards the Single Parent Fund! I have sent out a mass e-mail to friends and family and I am praying that I reach my goal of $1000! This ministry has touched my heart and I am asking that all of you would pray over it - that it would touch many people! If anyone wants details feel free to e-mail me at amyquinn78@yahoo.com!

Making a happy home Monday

2009-03-30T11:16:00.002-05:00

Ok, this is a first for me so hang in there. After thinking on this one I did realize that have done something to make my home happier! We have a junk drawer - you know the drawer that has all of the odds and ends in it. Well I did clean it out a few weeks ago; BUT I couldn't figure out what to do with all of the packages of batteries that we have in there. So I left them in the drawer next to the organizer that I LOVE. Yesterday my oldest needed AAA batteries and he was sifting through the drawer. AND it hit me - I slid the top organizer back and with a little re-arranging I was able to fit ALL of my batteries in the little compartments within my organizer. I was even able to LABEL the slots! My hubby noticed it this morning and even told me it looked GREAT!
I am new to this blogging thing so if anyone could share how to link pictures that would be GREAT - because I would LOVE to show my progress!

Moving - in your own home?

2009-03-30T11:02:00.002-05:00

We finally had the renovations done and we spent a good week just moving around our house. i am SO pleased with the progress even though we have a lot left to do. Lil man loves his new space and princess is glad that she doesn't have to share with her lil brother! (She has even kept her room clean!) And of course my oldest feels like he's 20 now because he has his own bathroom! And I can finally say that I have created a haven for me and hubby to share together in our NEW master suite! I am so thankful that it is done and we are all living in more harmony! Now if the organizing fairy would come and help sort out the junk we uncovered it would be helpful!
Amy Q

Re-Focus

2009-03-18T09:59:00.003-05:00

OK, I have prayed about the debt and the "fears" I have and I have decided to focus wholly on God to intervene with this problem. I want Him to speak to my hubby's heart and to help guide my words and my thoughts regarding our situation. I feel better now and plan to try to focus on Him instead of me.
Amy Q

Debt

2009-03-16T14:39:00.003-05:00

OK, I need serious prayers. A few years ago my husband and i did financial peace. The Dave Ramsey class. I loved it and was SO very excited about it. My husband was a little supportive but felt like we were too far in debt to get out. I manage the money. He sees the budget/bills every week - I don't know if he studies it but he sees it. (I print it out every Friday and give it to him) He has agreed NOT to use the credit cards - I even shredded them. We have had MASSIVE medical bill since we have been married due to the 2 high risk pregnancies, cancer, MRSA, and just having little ones. MOST of the credit card bills were for that. The other debt we have is the "STUPID-TAX" car. We have had it listed for several months on Craiglist with a few offers but we would still have to purchase another car that is bigger - we can barely fit in the one we have! We don't have much in savings and this debt is eating me UP. We OWE $28K in debts not including the house. We have NO wiggle room in the budget, he won't get another job and I have three kids to worry about. If any of you out there have any suggestions PLEASE help. i have worked the budget it seems 100 times and still cannot find the answer. We only bring home about 4K a month and though that sounds like a lot we spend $1035 in debt payments, $900 in house note, and $760 in daycare. I have looked at staying home and if I did I would still have to come up with nearly $1200 extra a month to clear the insurance and other $$ we would need. (higher utilities, food, gas, etc) I currently have a company car to transport them around - another reason the car we have is STUPID! We only use it to go out of town! My salary is more that hubbies base pay but he gets bonus $$ and overtime so his fluxuates to more than mine most pay-periods. I am at a loss. Very frustrated. How can I express to him more that I NEED to be debt free. WE need to be DEBT-FREE!
Amy Q

God is GOOD!

2009-03-12T15:11:00.002-05:00

Update on princess - she is going to be fine! Even though the infection LOOKS bad it is actually responding to the medications! YEAH! So we will just keep an eye on it and see.
Meanwhile I had the doc look at lil man's ear to see if the tube was out and he couldn't tell because of fluid build up - meaning EAR infection! I told him I would use drops for a few days first and if it didn't get better I would call him for the antibiotics. (Hate those!)
The inspector failed the remodel AGAIN! The contractor has until the 19th to complete it and then we get into a bunch of legal battles. Pray that this doesn't happen!

So that is all I can write for now!
love;
Amy Q

I am BACK!

2009-03-11T08:44:00.003-05:00

Well we have been in total Chaos the last few weeks. Both of my little one's had the flu for 7-10 days. They overlapped each other so it was VERY exciting! Then we hit a wall with our major remodel and we have had to deal with all of that the last few days. I guess you could say we have had our share of sleepless nights and tense moments. During the flu neither hubby nor I had more than 3 hours of solid sleep at a time! We were so sleep deprived it was amazing we did not totally bite each others head off. But we work real good together during times like that. Our contractor is amazed that we have even lasted through all of the set-backs. I was surprised by that comment but he explained that when stuff like this happens it puts a real strain on couples. I thought a lot about this and I am so thankful that my hubby and I are in sink with each other an know what are limits are. He has taken care of all of the "issues" and has let me deal with the paint and tile and carpet and all of the pretty stuff! (When we got the wrong tub in I did have to fix that!) I am just glad that God called for us to be together and that we really tune into what each of us can handle and what we can't handle. Hubby has really worked hard to protect my feelings and frustrations and has not given up on this process. Believe me when I say it would have been easy to give up! I just wanted to update you all.
My prayer request for today is to pray for my lil princess as she is going to the dr. today and we might have to have a minor surgery done. She has an infection that will not clear up and we may have to have a surgeon "clean it up" which will require her to have a day surgery done.
Love;
Amy Q

We have been bit..

2009-03-02T13:25:00.000-06:00

By a nasty FLU bug!! Please pray that my little one's will feel better.

Thanks;
Amy Q

Works for Me Wednesday

2009-02-25T10:48:00.002-06:00

I keep little mesh bags in my car for my 4 yr old and 1 year old. The bags fit perfectly in the pocket on the back of the front seats. If need a diaper or wipe for the lil one I have it right there. If my 4 yr old wants an game for the Leapster it is within her reach. I never have to worry about having their stuff in a diaper bag that takes up more space than I need. I purchased a pack of (4) for $1.00 at the dollar tree. These are great for when I need to take a quick trip to the store, pick up my older son, or like today when my 4 yr old was sick and needed a wipe for her nose - she just grabbed her bag and it was done!
The actual product name is Blink Tidy Totes. I found mine at the dollar tree, but you can order them online as well.
Amy Q

Bouncing Back

2009-02-24T11:45:00.002-06:00

These last few weeks I have been looking at a lot of different changes in my life. I want to do so many things to better myself. I thought I would let you in on some of the progress. I have made a lot of efforts in my study time. I know I have not posted as much as I had intended but I am doing a lot better in the study-prayer time area. I tend to catch a few extra minutes really early in the morning - I have made it my first priority. I do this before I change laundry, do dishes, or even make my coffee. It has helped me in many ways but mostly I am learning more about how God's love is forgiving and that I am really a work in progress. I am feeling better about myself more these days. The second area is my relationship towards my husband. This past weekend we had together without the kiddos. It was great to re-connect with him and show him how much he means to me. I felt really bad when he told me he wished I was that way all of the time but he knew that the kids can get in the way of that "Amy" I told him that I needed to hear that because I do focus A LOT on them and not on him. I asked him to help out more with them and the WE needed to have time to be with each other alone. Even if it is for 15 minutes at the end of the day. He agreed that we needed to work on that. I am happy that we had that discussion among some others.
An update on my physical self - I have lacked in this area even though it is heavy on my heart - literally! I need to figure out how to focus on the weight issues I have. It is very hard!
My home is another area that I have looked at a lot but have not done much with. I have a lot of ideas to make my home an easier place to live - but I have very little time to get those things done!
Work - well my attitude is better I am just discouraged at the markets these days!

I have many things to do and very little time. my goal this week is to write these things down and set specific goals for achieving these things. I will cross off what I complete and CELEBRATE when the overall goal is done.
Any suggestions?
Love;
Amy Q

Working

2009-02-18T09:49:00.003-06:00

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”Colossians 3: 23, N.I.V.

WOW! I needed this one. If you have read some of my posts you know I work at our family business. I am in Sales. Until December 8, 2008 it was me and my boss Steve. He passed away that day. Now it is just me in charge of 2000+ customers and ALL of North Texas. (We had it split in 2 regions before) This has been the most challenging 2 1/2 months of my working life. I am handling it well I think - but my attitude towards this job has totally changed as well. I came across this verse last night. I have read it hundreds of times. I even memorized it as a child. But last night it hit me in the head like a ton of bricks. I have totally changed my heart towards this job. I have a gift in sales, I love people, I love to problem-solve. I am good at what I do. I know that this job will change eventually. I know that I have more opportunities now than ever to grow in this business. So now instead of being negative and "poor me" I will "work at it will all of my heart, for the Lord and not men"
I pray that whatever your job is - yes that includes the stay at home mom's - (THE HARDEST JOB) do it with all of your heart for the Lord!
Love;
Amy Q

Sweet Hubby!

2009-02-16T09:40:00.002-06:00

I hope all of you had a great Valentine's day! We did! I am getting a weekend ALONE with my hubby this weekend!! Yeah for us! I cannot wait! I did get a sweet card and lots of kisses too. We studied about marriage on Sunday at church - I am so glad we did. I have been working on ours for some time now and this was a good lesson about the sacredness of marriage and how God wants us to have a blessed marriage. It was an awakening of some sorts to me and I realized that this weekend I have a lot to talk to my husband about. I love him so much and I need to show him that more often than I have been.

May God bless all of you and all of your marriages and relationships!

Love;
Amy Q

FREE AT LAST

2009-02-13T11:27:00.003-06:00

My sweet friends! After 4 1/2 long years I have finally been declared "Free of Cervical Cancer"!
I sent out an e-mail earlier today and here is what is says:

My sweet friends! You may or may not know that I had the "BIG" tests ran last Thursday to determine if in fact the Cervical Cancer was gone. This was a series of 6 tests that were ran to officially make my cancer status as "FREE" I have waited as patiently as I could and finally Dr. Lux called this morning to confirm that I was indeed Cancer FREE!! I cannot tell you how happy I am. I know that God has had His healing hand in this and can only give Him the credit for placing Dr. Lux and several others in my life to cure this disease. He said that my chances of recurring cancer are very low! I wanted to thank each of you who have been involved in this process and have prayed for me, supported me, hugged me, and just encouraged me.
You are all very special to me and I cannot express in words what I am feeling. Some of you may know that mom and dad are on vacation - I cannot reach them yet - but cannot wait to tell them. The best news is that I do not have to go back for testing until next year!!!!
Again, thank you for all that you have done. I love you all!

This applies to all of my blog friends as well!
Love;
Amy Q

Worries

2009-02-09T11:47:00.003-06:00

Prayer request for me:
Pray for my grandmother who is in the hospital with blood clots in her lung
Pray for my parents who are on a cruise this week
Pray for my test results to come back cancer free!
Pray that this week I will focus on God's blessings!

It seems to come in waves. Big ones. You know when my parents leave for vacation they usually say - "oh we have taken care of everything - just keep things together till we get back"
Well they were wrong. Yesterday morning I received a call from my cousin that my grandmother was ill and had a blood clot in her lungs - the problem with that is that my aunt who is an RN and who has primary care of her is on the trip with my parents. Today at work the bottom fell out! Apparently my dad forgot about some important projects he was working on. Not to mention I find out tomorrow (hopefully) if my cancer is back. I will not be able to reach my mom for several days.
I am praying that God will work on my heart and my worries. I know His plan is the only plan for me. I know that He is in control - not me. I know that when I ask He will guide me. I know that I will get through this. I have a loving husband and many "sisters" to lean on. I have three BEAUTIFUL children that adore me and love me like no one else. I know that this is a trial that I must seek joy in.
Isn't it funny how we can KNOW all of this and yet we still worry and stew over things!
I pray peace over all of you and hope that you too can see God's many blessings.

Prayers

2009-02-05T14:41:00.003-06:00

My sisters I need your prayers of PEACE. I had my tests ran today to see if the cancer is back. I have mixed emotions. I want so bad for them to say "you are cleared!" This will be my last major screening if I come back OK. But, as you all know it might not happen that way and I might have to face a hysterectomy. I am OK with that except for the fact that we cannot afford one. I know that God will provide a way if it comes to it. I have faced these tests for 5 years every 4 months and I am hopeful that I am OK now. Last year I had a scare with the displasia but it was treated and has not showed up again. So I ask all of you that read to please pray for these tests and for peace of mind for me.
I love you all and will keep you posted!

Love;
Amy Q

Husbands : Part 2

2009-02-03T10:47:00.003-06:00

My friend at We are THAT family is having a challenge for Valentines Day. I am seeing GREAT results!! Check her site out and do the challenge! (She is on my blogroll) Sorry guys I am not up to speed on the link thing yet!
Love;
Amy Q

New Starts

2009-02-02T11:57:00.002-06:00

So most people start goals January 1st. Well I am starting one this week. I have started my diet mission! I need to lose about 30-35 pounds total. I have began a walking video and I am writing down my foods. So anyway. I thought the video would be easy - WRONG! i am either SO out of shape or it is a hard workout - I bet it is a little of both. Wish me luck. I hope to be half-way there by May 10 - my anniversary. I realized a few months ago that my weight gain has contributed to how I feel about myself and it has effected my marriage in several ways. My husband has NEVER said a word about it - he tells me I am beautiful. BUT, I have to think that 40 pounds more to me is not what he fell in love with. Does that make sense?
So there you have it I am really going to try to watch my portions, cut out the sugar, and exercise. Please pray for this journey.

Amy Q

Husbands :)

2009-01-29T08:52:00.004-06:00

I love my husband! I love him! My heart and soul seems to burst when I think of him. He is my BEST friend!
Last night at MOPS we talked about husbands and their needs and the conversation could have lasted for several meetings, but it was a good topic to ponder. I have really been thinking about one question that came up - "if you were a man would you want to come home to you?"
Think on that! Some nights - probably NO. I can get VERY stressed out at times and so overwhelmed that I am not pleasant to be around. I don't know if that applies to any of you, but it does apply to me. I can be pleasant as well. For me I think that we have choices as to how we are going to be. I plan to make it a goal to CHOOSE to be pleasant towards my husband. When he gets home I want him to be excited to see me! God wants our marriage to be a BLESSING in our lives not a burden. He wants us to experience JOY and to have good experiences, to work together to make our HOME a haven.
I think too often I focus my time and energy on my children and the house that my husband gets sidelined. I think that if I were to turn the tables a little and focus more on him and what he needs from me I will become a better mom and wife. I will have more peace at home. I will enjoy my life more.
I know some of you may think - she is so naive! Marriage is not all roses and champagne! No it isn't, we have are struggles and our differences - but imagine if we as wives would focus more on his positives and not so much on the negatives; how our perceptions of our husbands could change. This in turn can bring so much positive energy to our lives!
I say all of this because I am not doing so well in this department. I tend to take him for granted. I tend to overlook his needs and focus to much of my energy on other things. This is not what I want for my marriage. I want to enjoy him fully, I want to lift him up , I want him to be happy and not fearful of my "mood" when he comes home. I want more from this marriage and I will lift it up in prayer and look at my actions and improve them. Our marriage is part of the foundation of our family - God first, then marriage, kids, family, friends etc. When that gets out of order - it can really tear apart our home.
I pray that you all will think of these words and say a prayer for your husbands today. Lift him up to our Father and bless him someway today!
Love;
Amy Q

Life Update

2009-01-26T12:20:00.002-06:00

Sorry it has been awhile since my last post - life gets carried away sometimes. I was blessed with a 3 day weekend with my mom, sister, sister-in-law, and 2 cousin-in-laws for a girls scrapbook retreat! We had SO much fun. I missed my man and kids - a little :) But, they saw how much it helped for mom to take a break - my first in exactly 2 YEARS!
My grandma made it through her hip surgery great and told me she felt better than she has in over 2 years! (PRAISE GOD) My little man had his check-up and it was OK - he has lost some weight - 3 lbs to be exact in 3 months - Dr. is a little concerned because he was small to begin with. I am adding a little more protein in his diet and I will just watch him. We go back in a month for a follow-up. If he has lost more weight we will have some tests done. I am a little perplexed because little man is my BIGGEST eater! I would even put him up against my big man (14)! So we will see how it goes. My momma instinct says he is fine - just needs a diet change.
My big man turned 14 on Wednesday!!! Me and my man are so stunned at this! It just hit us like a ton of bricks! He has turned into a fine young man and is doing very well. It seems like yesterday that he was 7 at our wedding and I placed my vows to him to be there for him and love him unconditionally until the day I die. (In case you don't know he is my man's son from another marriage) I am his mom in every way and he treats me as such! I love him with ALL of my soul! I enjoy him and love watching him grow in the Lord and make decisions about his life. He is a JOY!
So there you have it. I am back off of my time off refreshed and renewed! Too bad my man is going to Lubbock for 4 days tomorrow :(
Love;
Amy Q

Pray for America

2009-01-20T11:58:00.004-06:00

Pray for rulers and for all who have authority so that we can have quiet and peaceful lives full of worship and respect for God.
1 Timothy 2:2

Max Lucado has a Pray for President-Elect Obama button on his web-site www.maxlucado.com. I encourage all of you to read the prayer guide and continue to pray for America and our elected officials.

This is a nice little guide to help us all stand behind our country - at least in prayer.

Have a blessed day!
Amy Quinn

Being Fearless

2009-01-16T09:15:00.003-06:00

But I call to God, and the LORD saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. Psalms 55:16-17

Fear is such a hard thing for moms I think. It works alongside worry. Those kinda go hand in hand. I have struggled with the two all of my life I think, but since being married and having children it has grown into a burden really. I get consumed with finances, children, health, work, my spirituality, my husband, my marriage, my home, my extended family and on and on and on. It is a constant battle to just let it go and give it to God. last night I was up late - trying to work on my "home" and it happened. Right there in my living room as I was picking up the toys scattered from the evening I knelt down and wept. I did no cry, I wept. My whole body was shaking and I could feel my heart purging all that was bottled up inside. And then I heard it - "tell me your heart" I went to the couch and prayed. I confessed all of those fears to my Father. I went to my bible and just opened it up and Psalms 55 was there. I read it over and 16-17 stuck out.
I call out and he hears my voice! I slept better last night than I have in weeks. I feel better this morning. I prayed again this morning for God to help me overcome this battle. Help me to be fearless. God is my hope! I appreciate the comments from before.
My prayer for you today is that you will open your hearts to God and let him take over the fears and worries of your life. The we will do this everyday so that we can enjoy the Peace the HE provides. Have a blessed day!
Love;
Amy Q

I need You

2009-01-15T16:37:00.003-06:00

I need anyone out here in web-world to pray for my weariness. I am so very tired and I am seeking hope. Please pray that my heart will settle down and that all of these emotions I am feeling will calm down. I am really lost right now. The last few days have compounded and I feel like I could just shrink up and cry for days. I know that this is one of those trials and I should seek the joy - but I just don't think I can do it. Any encouragment would be welcomed.

Amy Q

Family Trials

2009-01-12T10:38:00.003-06:00

So, I am going to combine my devotional and my update into one.
We are all surviving I guess you could say. We had a MAJOR set-back with the city for our re-model. This has caused ALOT of friction around the house. I cannot do my laundry until the plumbing is re-done!! So the pile pile up and then I have to take them to the laundry mat all at once. This means that mommy is gone for a few hours. Not to mention how hard it is to do it all. My husband is trying to be positive, but that is not one of his better traits. On top of that my littlest has RSV. He cannot sleep laying down, so we have to hold him in the recliner all night. He has the coughing fits and that wakes him up several times a night. So mommy and daddy are TIRED and grouchy. AND then there is work. I told y'all before that my boss passed away. Well my work load has tripled! I have a huge mountain ahead and I am making it one step at a time. So, my sisters I ask that you pray for my strength to get through this time. We are all tired of the house being torn apart and the kids are ready for the work to be done so we can have a "normal" home again.

“Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”
I Thessalonians 4:11&12 (NIV)
It is so hard to be quiet sometimes! This verse jumped out at me. Especially during this LOUD time in my life. I am amazed at how many times this has happened to me. God wants us to only depend on Him - not others. I need to make it my "ambition to lead a quiet life" I want to shout - HOW God?? But I know the answer already - trust in Him to lead us the right way. What we are going through right now is not easy - but it could always be worse! God is right here with us. He will hold me up and make me stronger for this. (my dear neighbor said to me - "hey you said you needed some time to yourself and look you got it - 2 1/2 -3 hours at the laundry mat!) I had to laugh - but she was right. I have been able to work on my quotes and sales stuff, read my bible, pray, and get ALL of my laundry done at once - for a price! ( it is not frugel to go to the laundry mat!)
I hope this verse speaks to your hears and help you to be quiet for God. Only depend on Him. I pray for all of you to be touched by His love.
Love;
Amy Q

My Shield

2009-01-07T12:21:00.003-06:00

But You, O LORD, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head. Psalm 3:3

Have any of you watched the news lately?? I live around Dallas, TX and we have had a lot of HORRIBLE crimes and deaths in our communities. It gets so depressing to watch - which is why I try not to. Top off that with all of the crisis's we are having it is hard not to be worried or scared or fearful. Not to mention doubtful. I tend to worry as most moms do. Then I came across this verse. "You, O Lord are a shield about me" what a blessing! We have a shield of protection around us. This doesn't mean that trials won't happen - but it is reassurance that God is with us to walk us through those trials. The verse also says that God is the "One who lifts my head" To me this means that when we are down or not looking to Him, HE will lift us up and let us see His Glory!
I hope that this verse brings you peace during these rocky times. I pray that all of you will hold onto your "shield" and look UP!
Love;
Amy Q

Purpose

2009-01-05T09:15:00.003-06:00

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NIV)

What is God calling me to do? What is HIS purpose for me? As I read this verse those questions came up. This is the time of year that I love. It is clean and new and I set my goals. My challenge today is to write the goals down and look deeply at them. Is this what God wants for me? I will pray over them and look at them on a regular basis instead of forgetting about them. I will focus on that purpose and try to listen to HIM direct my heart.
This verse is a powerful message that God does work for the GOOD of those who LOVE HIM. And I love Him! But, what works am I doing for the good of HIM?

I pray that all of you have a clean renewed heart and will have a blessed year.

Love;
Amy Q

New Beginnings

2009-01-02T08:53:00.002-06:00

“Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord.”
Lamentations 2:19a (NKJV)
I am reading an older book by Max Lucado called Come Thirsty. This verse was in my morning devotion and I thought - wow! How often do we pour out our hearts to God? I pray many prayers and as I have said before they seem to involve others instead of MY hearts desires, hurts, needs, etc.
Yesterday was a hectic day and I was working in the kitchen preparing a meal for my in-laws. My daughter (4) was right at my heals telling me all of her wants. It was driving me nuts! She finally pulled on my shirt and said "Mommy PLEASE listen to me!" I said "what is it that you want??" She said "I am sorry for whining so much, I just need a hug mommy." I then was washed with guilt. I knelt down and hugged her tight and said I was sorry for not listening to her and that I loved her. She scurried off and was busy playing and I finished dinner up.
Last night I thought of that experience. I am so thankful that I have a Father who is never to busy and ALWAYS listens and is ready with His hugs of Peace and Comfort. He will listen to my heart at all times - whining, crying, angry, sad, hurt, happy, joyous, thankful, and many more needs.
I encourage us all to POUR out your heart to God and accept His hugs.

Love;
Amy Q

Remembering

2008-12-12T09:14:00.002-06:00

Sorry it has been so long. These past few weeks have been a roller coaster!! We had a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving and got the shopping done! (Now I have to wrap!)
My parents left for a 10 day cruise the Friday after Thanksgiving. This brings on A LOT of responsibility for me as I become the caretaker to my Granny, the Molly dog, and the company!! Things went well until last Friday when my sister called and told me that the night before she and her family went to visit a friend. This couple were Foster Parents to several children. They had the kids from the time they were weeks old. That evening Baby Ty (8 weeks) passed away from SIDS. This happened while my sister and her family were visiting. It was tragic. Please keep Tracy and Chris in your prayers.
On Monday evening I was summoned to the Hospital to learn that my sales manager had passed away of a heart attach - he was on his way to a customer that afternoon. This has been so traumatic I cannot even begin.
Steve was not only my boss for 8 years he was my friend, teacher and mentor. He was deeply loved by my family. He witnessed my marriage, babies being born, my cancer, my illnesses, and my pain. he was always there to offer his help and his support. I will miss him dearly.

So as I write this i want to encourage you all to think of your loved ones and NEVER forget to say I Love You!

Keep me in your prayers.

Love Amy

Blessings

2008-11-24T08:56:00.002-06:00

Today we had some wonderful news! My sister-in-law had her baby girl this morning! 8lbs 4oz, 19 1/2" long and BEAUTIFUL!! We went to Nac this past weekend to see my husbands family and Jamie was so ready to have that baby! Well they called this morning and Kimber Ashton was born! Mom and baby are good. We are so blessed!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NIV)

I needed this verse today! Sometimes I get wrapped up in the WHY'S and I don't look at all of the outcomes. I have been through so many trying things that most have not and in the darkest of times I would ask "WHY" Looking at it now so many GOOD things have come about. I can minister to many people who are going through tough times and show them that God does work for the good in us who LOVE Him. I love my God and yes my faith has wavered in some tough times, but He has BLESSED me more times over. I have grown so much in the last ten years! My family is stronger than it has ever been!
My prayer to all is to take a minute and Thank God for the GOOD in our lives!

Love;
Amy Q

Me

2008-11-19T10:18:00.002-06:00

So we are in the middle of the renovation! It has been a trying situation moving stuff from place to place, finding junk we don't need, and living with mom and dad for a few days! I am happy about the progress though. I just keep telling myself "only a few more weeks!" It has challenged my quiet time. In MOPS we talked about creating your own space for that special time with God. Well I did that and it really works! I put my journal, a spare Bible, and by devotional book all right there and I was doing well with it - until the contractors came and my sacred space moved - from room to room under piles of stuff. This morning I went into the living room searching for that basket - wasn't there. Tried both bathrooms - wasn't there. Looked around our bedroom - no luck. I found it on the dining room table under the box of "stuff" that was under the computer keyboard that was next to the pile of pictures. It is sad. I feel bad about it. So I sat there and said a prayer. I know God hears my frustration and He really is working on comforting me during this time. I ask that you pray for my husband - he is not so patient and is having a hard time at work as well. It is putting a strain on us. Just pray for our little family to get through this transition.
Love Amy

Friends

2008-11-07T10:14:00.002-06:00

Today’s Truth
James 5:16 (NKJV) instructs us with these words, “Confess your trespasses to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”

This was a devotional I did yesterday. It hit home with me. I have MRSA and I have been fighting it for several weeks. It is not something I share with my friends much, but I know in order for healing to come I must confess it and ask for prayers. I am asking you all to pray for this illness and for understanding.
Another confession I have is anger. I am angry about several things in my life. I am angry that my "friend" won't talk to me for unknown reasons. I am angry at myself for letting that relationship fall away. I am angry that I am sick, that I haven't had time to clean, that I haven't studied like I should, that I have slacked off with my relationship to my husband. Pray for that.

I hope you all have a blessed weekend.
Amy Q

Illness

2008-10-28T09:58:00.004-05:00

So today I am still battling a severe ear infection! I am so tired and in a lot of pain. I have seen various doctors and we think we are on the right track. I was adamant about not taking antibiotics, but after consulting with the natropath doctor she agreed that we were facing a severe infection. So now I am on my third round of antibiotics, but I am taking my MEGA-herbal medicine to. I cannot tell you what a difference it makes. Usually when I take antibiotics I am run down, tired, sick to my stomach and get secondary infections. Not the case this time! Yes I am tired, but the ear drainage keeps me up a lot. I am glad I found Dr. Dunn and she has helped me. She is not totally against conventional medicine, but likes to hedge illnesses first with herbals. Had I went to her two weeks ago I probably would not be in the shape I am today! So that is my news for now. I have not been a good servant in my study time. I pray that Satan will QUIT influencing me to not study! I find myself making many excuses - "I'm tired, I don't have time, I'll do do it later" I am aware that this is Satan's way of trying to distract me from my God's word! So, now I will go and study!
Love;
Amy

One Month To Live

2008-10-23T12:13:00.001-05:00

I have had a few people ask what my Bible Study is about, and the best way to find out is to look at their site.

http://www.onemonthtolive.com/

Love:
Amy Q

Time

2008-10-21T10:44:00.002-05:00

So here it is 5 days later...I have followed my study plan since Thursday, but logging on to express my thoughts has been the challenge. So be patient my friends! Our Bible study on 30 days to live is in full swing, and it is an eye opener! This weeks focus is about defining what is truly important to us and what we actually spend time doing. This is a hard one for me because I am trying to enrich my relationship with God and it is VERY important to me that that is being "fed" and watered daily but the time spent is very little. Also, my family is indescribably important, but work, house, "STUFF" gets in the way. How do I balance it all? I guess my heart is right, but the life stuff gets in the way. I will say that the increase in prayer and Bible study has helped me to stay grounded and focused on what I should be doing. I am not so consumed with the "people" problems that arise at work and around me. In the past few months I dreaded going to work because of the division that has occurred. I felt alone, left out, talked about, angry, and hurt. Now I go to work open-minded and positive. I care about everyone at work, but I have to let the issues go.
I have been let down by some friends that I have and it hurts that I try to "GIVE" myself to them with time, ears, hugs, prayers, etc. and get rejected in cruel ways. I just have to pray for them and let God intervine when He sees fit.
I have to learn that I can't "fix" it all, I have to look to God to work through me to reach others.

Verse for today:
Galatians 1:10, “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” (NLT)

Love;
Amy Q

Running in Circles

2008-10-16T09:17:00.003-05:00

Sorry for not posting more, I have been running in circles for the last few days. Unfortunately I have been behind on my study time as well. i will try to get on track tonight. I can say that Satan is trying so hard to distract me from my study time! I am angry about that and ask that you all pray for me to defeat him in his efforts. Another request is for you all to pray for me at work. I find myself hitting a wall and getting really discouraged about my job. I work hard at what i do, but get disappointed a lot.
That is all I have time for right now, I will post again tonight after my study time.

love;
Amy

30 Days

2008-10-13T06:00:00.003-05:00

We went to church yesterday and they are doing a "30 days to live" series. I went to bible study for starters and the lesson was about your "dash" You know the dash on your tombstone in between your birth date and the day you die. What will your "dash" be like? This makes me think long and hard about all of the expectations that I have on myself. Are they really that important? Basically the theme was getting your priorities right. God, Family, friends, work, etc. A lot of times the order that we put things gets jumbled up. God has to be first. So the overall question is "what would you do if God said you had 30 days left on Earth?" I cannot begin to try to write this out, but my first thing would be focus on Him in prayer and scripture.

I pray for all of you to put your priorities in order as He would want them. I pray that you all have a great day and week.

Love;
Amy

This Week

2008-10-10T12:25:00.003-05:00

So we have been really busy this week. We are getting our house updated so we have had contractors around a lot. The kids always are into something. Dave is in football at Jr. High and that is very consuming, but he is doing really good. We have his report card and it was good! He has a hard time in Math and Texas History, but he passed! Abby passed her letter writing test, she is not very patient with it though! She is trying hard to find her place. It is hard in the middle, I know from experience. Her school is such a good place, but this morning she wanted to go to work instead! (This is rare for her because she loves school!) It hurts my heart to leave her that way, but we have to work to pay our bills. Mason moved to the "big" room and loves it. He slept on his mat at nap time all week. :( My baby is growing too fast! My man is out of town on a job until Sunday, so I will be completely out of it by the time he gets back. We need the $$ though, so I will push through it. I am planning on taking the kiddos to the Dallas Farmers Market Saturday. They will love it and I can stock up on foods I need. We have church on Sunday and I can't wait to go. I love our new church!! Say a little prayer for me. I know many mom's who do it alone, and I respect them dearly!
Love;
Amy

Looking ahead

2008-10-10T11:10:00.002-05:00

“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV)

I came across this and it hit me hard. I am constantly looking at my past and judging myself on those actions. I have been told by many friends that I expect too much from myself. I don't really know why that is. I want good things for my life and for my family. I want to be a good mother, wife and friend. My neighbor and I have talked about this and she has told me more than once that i am doing a good job at all of those things. Why can't I see that myself?
I have thought about this long and hard. I think that because of the things that I perceive as "bad" I overlook the good things. I am a good mother, can I be better? We all can be better. Am I a good wife? My man adores me and loves me, I can always do more things for him to feel good about himself and our marriage - but that is a daily thing that grows. It is not going to be "perfect" all of the time. I am a good friend, I help out, listen, and interact with them. Could I do more, sure I could, but within reason!
Why are we so hard on ourselves? I think I need to look at who I am and little by little work on one aspect that maybe could be better. I am not "bad" at being a mom, wife or friend.
This goes along with my time with God. I think that if I would focus on smaller things to improve I would have larger results!
Any thoughts?
Love;
Amy

Guard me Lord...

2008-10-07T12:34:00.007-05:00

“That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.” 2 Timothy 1:12 (NIV)

I read this verse at crosswalk.com. It is amazing how God speaks to us. I have been worried for weeks about our finances. We have good jobs, but our expenses are increasing. I work so hard to get the grocery bill as low as I can, we don't eat out, we take lunches, we don't travel, we don't spend extra. We have a lot of medical bills. I can't pay them right now. Last night I cried to my man about how we will make it, he told me that we "just will", that God provides. (This is not a typical response from him!) I took a deep breath and said "you are right."

I prayed that night for some hope. And this morning I read the above verse. What a statement. I am ashamed that I had doubt. God will guard what I have entrusted to him for that day. I have to ask for Him to guard our finances and our decisions for today. He is good. He will protect me and keep me.

I pray for all of you out there that God will bless your day and will guard what you have entrusted to Him for today. If you have worries or doubts, read that again and pray to God your desires, needs, fears, and doubts. Give it to Him in order that he may guard it.

Love;
Amy

Bless him

2008-10-06T06:17:00.002-05:00

Today I reflect over my weekend. It was busy. It was crazy. I am exhausted. In my prayer time this morning I have asked God to bless my husband. Not just the "Bless my husband lord" I really asked God to watch over him, guide him, show him your love. After that prayer I began to look at my heart and I realize now what compelled me to pray that prayer. My husband is not the romantic knight in shining armor. He is different. I never thought I would fall for him. But did I ever. He is my best friend. He knows me. He understands me.
How did I get such a wonderful man? I can only say that God brought us together when we least expected it.
Hubby is a good man. I hope God continues to work on his heart.
Take a minute and pray for your spouse or loved one.

Love;
Amy

"Be Quiet"

2008-10-03T16:18:00.001-05:00

"O, Lord I call to you, come quickly to me.."
If you have time read Psalm 141. It is olny 10 verses. Verse 3 says "put aguard on my mouth O lord, keep watch over the door of my lips"
WOW! I am constantly saying to my daughter (4) "Be Quiet!" "We don't talk that way to our friends" " That was not nice" Use nice words!.
In my everyday life I get Overloaded and I find myself not being quiet. I try not to say bad things. But it happens. I need to take my own advice and be quiet.
I need to be quiet with my Lord as well.
As we speak, the TV is on, my hubby is getting ready and the baby is playing.
Not quiet. But I am here reading the Word.
I pray for all of us to call on God to "Guard our lips"
Love to all;
Amy

My Story

2008-10-03T16:14:00.001-05:00

I will try to keep this a short as possible, but it covers my life so it might be a little long!
GROWING UP:
I was raised by my parents outside of Dallas, TX. My mom was(is) a devoted christian and was consistant in making sure that my sister, brother and I were at church as much as possible. We grew up in a loving church with a great youth program. I was baptised in 1989. My dad became a christian a few years before that, which was amazing because for 13 years my mom went to church and instilled chriatian values in her family as he sat by. (I could go on about this for pages, but I will move on..) I graduated high school and went to college with a sports medicine scholarship. I recieved my degree four years later. College was an eye-opening experience. I realized soon after leaving home that the world was FULL of choices. I made good choices and bad choices along the way but I made it through 4 years and ended up with a sports med degree.
LOVE
I had the worst heart-break ever my senior year at SFA. The man I was planning on marrying decided that all at once he did not love me. And it was over! I was devestated and made even more bad choices after-that. During that time I started to get closer to a friend. He was 8 yrs older and divorced. He and I became the best of friends that last year of school. Then I left and went back home. I knew he was staying there because of his son, and honestly I had to get away from my "ghosts" so I left. It is interesting at how we push love away when we are fearful of it. I am a stubborn person and I refused to believe that he loved me. But he did, he would call and come to Dallas to see his sister and always make sure he took me to dinner. We kept in touch but neither of us wanted to be loved for fear of being hurt. Then God steped in. On February 2, 2002 I was at work and recieved a call from his cell phone, but it was not him. His best friend called me to tell me that he was in a wreck and not expected to make it. I was shocked, I cried, I prayed to God to wait until I could get there to say good-bye. And I went. He was still alive. When I saw him first he was still in a coma. He looked horrible. I cried silently and prayed for healing. The next time I saw him he was in and out of it. I walked in the ICU and held his hand and cried quietly. He opened his eyes and said"Hey there's my sunshine" I laughed and cried. Well, he made it after 21 days. I knew I loved him, I was afraid. He met my parents; they LOVED him. My mom told me I would marry that man. I was still unsure. Then he did it, he told me he loved me and he was coming to Dallas. In January 2003 he moved here and on February 2, 2003 he asked me to be his wife. We aere married May 10, 2008 at my parents church.
WORK:
I was not happy with my degree. I loved the Sports Med, but DID NOT want to teach high school. At the time of graduation that was pretty much my only option. I could contract out and make little or no money or teach and work with High School children. I was lost. I needed a job to get me by until I made up my mind. I asked my dad if I could work for him for "a little while" He said sure. I started working for him as an assistant to his service coordinator and in collections. It is now 2008, I am still working for him, but as a Sales Representative. I love the work. My husband was asked to join the team in 2004. So it is a family business! The company was started by my grandfather in 1966, my father bought it in 1988. We are an Industrial Scale Company.
KIDS:
We wanted kids "in 2 years" when we got married. Well you cannot tell God what to do. About 1 month after we were married we got a call from my (step)son's mom. I will not go into too much detail, but we recieved custody of my (step)son a few days later. I will never refer to him as my "step-son" again. I am raising him with my husband, his mother is not consistantly involved so therefore I am his "mom" So that being said we had to look for a bigger place. We found a house and moved in September of that year. In October I went to the Dr. with the flu - it turned out to the the 9 month kind!! This was a true miracle because I had been told that we would have to seek fertility treatments to have our own children due to medical issues I had. So we had my daughter June 1st 2004 by emergancy C-Section. She is a Daddy's girl thru and thru. Eight weeks after she was born I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. (Story to come) I went through chemo refused a hystorectomy and was in remission 4 months later. I was told that I would never have children again. In November of 2006 I went to the Dr. for a "post-op" exam (Again more to that later) and was told I again had that 9 month flu. This was the most terrifying day of my life. I had been VERY ill for the previous 6 months, had a lot of drugs during that time and I had MRSA in my blood stream. My OBGYN was not optimistic about the pregnancy. He said we had to run a million tests to see if the baby would make it and if I could withstand the 9 months ahead but I needed to prepare to make the decision on moving on with the baby or terminating. I cried, I prayed, we told NO ONE for weeks. I will never forget the day we went to see the Dr. for our "consult" He looked at me and my husband and said he could not explain it. The tests were perfect, the baby was good, I was good. I said I can explain it "GOD IS GOOD!" My parents and in-laws were scared for me but prayed daily! I had a great 9 months. It was up and down as to whether I could deliver naturally. The Doc said we needed to in order to reduce the chances of MRSA infections. At 42 weeks the day before I was scheduled for a c-section my water broke. We had my baby boy 22 hours later naturally. It was the hardest thing I have physically EVER done, but it was worth it. My mom was there and she cried more than I did! (She had never seen a baby being born - well she had us, but she says that's different!) So there you have it I have a 13 yr old son, a 4 yr old daughter, and a one year old son. We are blessed with these three miracles!!!
HEALTH:I have not been blessed with the greatest health. I am getting better. As you read I am a cervical cancer survivor. (Officially in 1 month) That in itself was a challange. My baby girl was 8 weeks old. I had to do chemo. It wa awful. But God is good. He delivered me and carried me through that time. My husband was in true ARMY form during that time. He cared for me and the baby and worked and helped our son to and from school. I recovered. Life carried on. Then came the MRSA. as you know chemo supresses the immune system SEVERELY. In 2006 I had a STAPH infection. Went to the doc had it removed, took the meds. It came back. This went on 14 times. They sent me to a specialist and I had MRSA. The meds I had taken would not have worked. I was only able to take ONE antibiotic. Then we had my blood cultured and it was there as well. It was a vicious cycle. Then I found out I was going to have a baby. I had nothing but pure FEAR for my unborn child. The MRSA went dormant for the 9 months I was pregnant. After my son was born I was sick ALOT. I was not happy with the constant antibiotics I was getting for all of the illnesses. I was going downhill fast. I went to a ND (Natropath) and was put on a regamin to help repair my immune system. Within weeks I was 100% better. ( I later found out from my Dr I had MONO!) I have changed my diet to organic meats and veggies. I am still working on all of that.
GOD:
I should have put this first. But it is not, so I guess that explains it. I struggle with God daily. My husband believes, but his heart is hardened. He is stubborn. But, this is about me. I have a strong faith. I believe with all of my heart that God is my Eternal Father and Jesus is my Savior. I struggle with that daily relationship. I struggle with expectations. I struggle with my past. I battle with my addictions. I want to have a strong relationship with Him. I want to clean out the closet of my life and start new. Why am I afraid? Why do I put Him last?
I go to church. I must admit that it has a lot to do with my kids. I want them to know Jesus. It is my job to make sure they know Him. I like our new church a lot. We have been going for a short time, but it feels like home. I am praying that it will meet our needs. I am praying that I will open my heart more to God. Just because I go to church does not mean I have a solid relationship - but it is a step in the right direction.
No excuses here, I have had a long journey, I have failed in my relationship with Christ. But I am not giving up my quest. I will move forward! Today is a new day.
Can anyone relate?
Sorry for the length of this post;
Amy

The Begining

2008-10-03T16:13:00.001-05:00

I have been on an incredible journey over the last 6 or so years. I have shared with many of my friends that I wanted to start a blog to keep a record of my life, marriage, children and my continued growth with my God. A lot have said "how will you have time!" Well this is my thought, I struggle with finding a quiet time to sit and reflect and seek my God and what better way to do that by making time each day and write down those thoughts in a blog? So here I am world! I am hoping that by doing this I will beable to "look in the mirror" and reflect on my life and where God wants me to go. I have a feeling that each day the reflection will look different. I am looking forward to the comments and the advice from other moms that can relate or have been in my shoes. I plan to start out slow. My goal is every other day. I want to seek the Word and share my thoughts with you all. My next entry will be "My Story"
Have a blessed day;
Amy