Wednesday, July 8, 2009

No Guts No Glory?

Yesterday I had my evaluation at work. I haven't had one in 5 years folks! If you don't already know I work for my family business in sales. My job has changed considerably in the last year due to the loss of my boss last December.
We have not had a great year so far. Its a "tough economic time" for us too. My evaluation was really good - work hard, steps up to the plate, accepts challenges, works well with people, etc. I scored a 4+ out of five on my evaluation that included averaging my co-workers evaluation of me, the presidents evaluation of me (dad) and my evaluation of me. I want to note that my evaluation of myself was slightly lower than anyone else. All was going great. It lasted 2 1/2 hours.
Here is where the guts come in. At the end of all of our evaluations comes the time where you may or may not get a raise. Well it was brought up and I told them that I thought I deserved a raise on my base salary - have not had one since 2003 - things have changed for me a lot since then - 2 babies born, daycare costs up, cost of living increases, medical bills SKY high so I felt a little help there was warranted after all I had a high score and I have worked VERY hard.
My father thought I was OUT OF MY MIND. It got really heated. It was hurtful. It was not good. I do not like confrontation at all. I finally stated that I understood that I am not meeting my quota this year so far - but I have in the past 6 years and I did not think it was right to punish me for this year and note look at the past 6 years. here is what I got -
"Bottom line you are an expense and not making enough $$ to cover your cost (for the whole department) your commission is your raise - you hit that then you will have your raise."
I had the GUTS but there is no Glory in that.
You have to realize that my job is not just sales like the description states. I do a lot more than that. I manage the whole department - run reports, marketing, etc. Stuff my sales manager did when he was alive. I also run the company when they are out on their many vacations. (They are going to Austrailia in November for 26 days!) I take care of little problems that pop up that the other employees don't want to bother them with.
So what does all of this mean? I do not know. I am still stinging from the hurtful words that were said, my head hurts from thinking about it, my heart hurts from it too.
Part of me wants to quit. Part of me wants to just keep moving day by day.
God knows what will happen and all I can do is listen to him and try to make the right decisions daily. That doesn't mean that it is going to be easy to go to work today.

1 comment:

Denise said...

Sweetie....I'm sorry about your confrontation. I know it hurts and that it was not what you wanted or needed. I will be praying for you. Who knows....God may have a bigger plan and this was a stepping stone to something changing for you. Hang in there....Love ya...