Monday, April 27, 2009

Why do I feel like I am going through the motions

I want to share some thoughts about myself today that I have struggled with for a long time.  I want to be real to you  - all three of you! By writing things out I feel like I can sort it out and maybe come up with a resolution.  I am tired today.  I am tired of looking in the mirror an wondering who that really is.  I am a wife.  I am a mom. I am a daughter and a sister.  I am a co-worker.  I am a friend.  Why do I look so unhappy? God has blessed me with many great things.  I was spared from cancer, birthed 2 wonderful children, healed of MRSA, have a great husband, home, and family.  Why do I feel like I am running in circles.  I feel like I cannot accomplish much.  I tried to clean this weekend only to find that as a room was cleaned and I was off to another the clean room was quickly messed up AGAIN.  I tried to cook from scratch all weekend only to find that no one but lil man ate with me.  AND don't get me started on the laundry.  To top it off I did not wake when I should have. ( I was only an hour behind)  I feel like I am in a vicious cycle.  I cannot get a hold of a good schedule. (Did I really have one anyway?) I have prayed many times today that God will help calm my heart.  I feel like I am out of control and I need balance.  I want to do so many things for my husband and children.  I want to be a better wife and mom.  I just need better direction.  I feel that I am going nowhere on this path.  Now I just need to find another path.  Have any of you felt this way?  What helped you? I would love to have feedback.
Amy Q


Denise said...

Wow girl....I know exactly what you are feeling! I am having my owe identy crisis! Only lately mine is feeling tired of being second! I've worked a lot to be that wonderful wife, mother, friend, co-worker, sister, daughter, etc....but feel very empty at times. So, what works...getting my focus back on GOD and not on me. Stinks, but that is what I find is my problem. I'm a pro at the pity party for ME and I have to realign my thinking. Not easy, and right now, I am borderline on a pity party! So, sister...hang on...I'm hanging on too! Hugs...d

~LL~ said...

GIRL!!!! That sounds like a "reflection" of me! ;)

So, here is what helps me.....getting into the Word. The more time I spend with God, the better the timing works out. I'm not sure if I'm just able to get more done or if some things just fall off the radar due to lack of importance. Either way, He will help to settle your heart!