Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Hello, Yes I am still here

Hoping you guys are still there!
So much has been going on I am not sure where to start. I have been in quite the funk as of lately. I took a break from writing - only now to find I should have been pouring out more. I find that when I write I feel better with myself and my thoughts.
I am back on an exercise plan of some sorts - I am trying to walk more. I have lost 5 pounds so far in two weeks! This alone has made a difference in my attitude.

Since January I have has one child turn 15, one turn 6, and a 7 year anniversary. My baby will be 3 in 2 weeks. I am amazed to watch them grow - but my heart gets a little sad when I realize they are growing up. Dave starts Drivers Education in a few weeks. Abby completed Kindergarten and Mason is fully potty trained. It seems like yesterday that i was kneeling down vowing to Dave to be his mom as best I could, holding a small baby wrapped in pink, and delivering the most beautiful miracle of a baby boy that I was told may not make it. Time is going by so fast.

Lately I have been facing many fears. Fears I have never had. I am watching my Granny decline in her health. I know that we will loose her before long and I am not ready to face that. As Dave gets older I realize that he will be more in the "real" world - an I am afraid I have not done enough to prepare him. As I watch friends divorce I fear for my own relationship. My husband has taken on a new position at work - which is consuming more of his time. It is so "easy and normal" to just get a divorce these days. I pray that we hold on. I have quit watching the news for the last 2 weeks. It has done wonders for my fears - it seems that when you do watch you are bombarded with horrific stories of murder, abuse, drug use, scandals, etc. A lot of stories involve children. I know it is out there - but being reminded daily was adding fuel to the fire regarding my fears.

All of this slapped me in the face the other day - I had begun to feel overwhelmed with this fear issue when I realized a key factor in all of it - I had not been placing these fears at God's feet. I had not been honest with Him. I had slacked off in my studies.

So today is a new day. Today is yet a new beginning. More to come - be blessed my friends - if you are still there?

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;he delivered me from all my fears.
Psalms 34:4

1 comment:

Chasity said...

Congrats on the weight loss! Exercise always does wonders for my mental attitude. It's just to get the time or energy to do it.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and your kind words. Your comment however, got lost, apparently, because I got an email notification of it, but it's not showing up in blogger. Bummer! Hope you have a great day!